I have been married for 13 years. Last week I asked my husband for a divorce because I am just drained by our relationship. My husband and I are not good communicators and whenever we have disagreements, we both retreat. He seldom apologizes when the issue was caused by him and just expects that after a few days of the silent treatment things are okay because we start talking about the weather or the news or something. He has a temper and yells at me for a stupid thing. The things that finally set me off was because my conversation was too loud and he was trying to sleep. He threw a huge fit, throwing things around. I did not apologize and his solution was to cancel a his participation in a weekend getaway we had planned. He tends to do that alot too. Anyway, I was just done, so I told him the next morning, when he again was yelling at me becuase I was too loud, that I was done. He always has excuses for his stress, i.e .the yelling. He has a new job, he tired, etc. So on my side, I don't even know how I feel about him anymore. We don't have much sex and that is my fault, I will admit. I just don't seem to want to have sex and he is good in bed. He's not a bad guy, and all this week he has tried really had to do things to show me he wants this to work. So now I am having second thoughts. this is not the first time we have talked about divorce. I brought it up a few years ago, but decided to stay for my daughter. He had a "emotional affair" a few months ago, so I asked him if he wanted a divorce then. He didn't so I tried to be a better wife. However, we have that lack of sex thing that really bothers him. We get along okay and can talk about everyday things, but I feel like I am always working to ensure he doesn't get angry because I don't know when he will be stressed and get upset. He tells me I am emotionally unavailable, but that I am the only person he wants. I asked him to do counseling to improve our ability to communicate and he won't. part of me feels like a failure for wanting out, and part of me feels like a whimp for thinking I should staying.
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