I just found this site and I hope it will help me. I am just starting the process of initiating a divorce from my wife of 15 years. I finally have summoned the courage to break away from her after what seems a lifetime of control. Since I have been with her I have allowed her to isolate me from all of my friends (I only have one that has stayed near me), from my parents, from my siblings. I allowed her to control of all finances to the point where I am questioned about spending $25 and I own 3 extremely successful businesses. She has gone through my credit card statements, through my cell phone, through my text messages, through my emails.... apparently searching for something to catch me in. She calls me 15 to 20 times a day with no real point to any of the conversations. She is searching but there has never been anything. She has never trusted or respected me and because of that I have not shared intimacy with her. When I ask her why she is searching and why she doesn't trust me she says that's just her nature. But how can I be intimate with someone that doesn't trust or respect me? We have been to counseling and are still in counseling. She finishes my sentences in the sessions. She tells me "no, that's not right" when I express how I feel in front of the counselor. The counselor tries to mediate and let her know not to answer but she can not control herself (but she needs to control me). The counselor says it will take time to build the true foundation of trust, but I am exhausted after all this time of not being trusted. I can't take another 15 years of trying. I have no respect for her. I will always question her motives when asking me questions because she is always searching and in interrogation mode. So I have decided to try and become happy. But I feel that I am being selfish. I want my kids can see a happy, not defeated, father. But I am depressed at the thought that I am a failure. That I am not trying. That I have given up and taken the easy way out. That I am letting my kids down. That I will be even more lost. I feel alone.
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