i just typed like 4 very short e-mails to stbx, all of which I deleted before sending, all of which express very legit bitches about how he is saddling me with all of the responsibilities while he reamins incommunicado except for every 3 weeks or so when he tries to manipulate me then gets mad cuz I won't do somehting for him financially -- so far, I have deleted all 4, relying on what I have learned from my friends here, knowing that it will do me NO GOOD whatsoever to e-mail him anything -- NO GOOD AT ALL -- just tell me I did fine, tell me to stop thinking about how much he just makes me sick and mad adn amazed that I ever said I loved him -- cuz he is a complete JERK beyond what words can express -- how could I have EVER shared a life wiht him? OK -- I am better now -- I want him to know that he is so irresponsible and leaving me to handle everything and I don't know when I can end it all cuz he is just not participating in what he started -- he could be dead for all I know -- which I am not sure I would care that much about -- I feel sorry for him on some level, cuz he is simply self-destructing, I will be OK -- but not that sorry -- when his married whore girlfriend dumps his ass, I will have no sympathy -- he knows full well that he will just be like the 50th in a row that she has done it to, I have no idea why he thinks he is so spedial -- OK thx for the cyber space -- I did better doing this than e-mailing him