Not sure how I feel today. He left really early this morning and made me very wary, he used to do that to call her before, but I checked, none of that. We are going to celebrate our ten year anniversary tomorrow. We are still not wearing our rings, having a hard time putting that back on. He left me and it hurt so bad, but maybe it was right? We hadn't been happy in so long, we are both trying so hard now, but when does TRYING become fake? We are doing good, it just feels pressed as we/I had lots of bad habits to break) I want to have fun with him tomorrow, we are doing it off the cuff, anniversary is actually the 5th. Dang I am lost here, is it me? I haven't gotten thru much counseling to find myself. I can't figure out why he decided to come back. I thought I would be living the dream, but it is hard. I am swallowing pride, trying hard to change me/us, wanting it for the boys. Please give me strength to do the "right" thing. I know that this is a difficult subject for a lot. I just respect your opinions
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