I found out a few weeks ago i was pregnant as we were using precautions it came as a great shock,my new partner was horrified, he like me had just came out of a nasty divorse and had took his ex to court to be able to see his children which he now sees regularly. He thought it was best if i had a termination,said he would push his kids away if i went ahead and had the baby as they would feel like he had a new family and said that after i had been in a 19y abusive and controlling marriage it was my only chance to have some sort of life for myself,i had been enjoying the freedom which i had found but part of me really wanted this baby and saw it has a fresh start, i went to the clinic yesterday and went to walk out but then he said could you carry the guilt of me losing my kids if you dont go ahead with this,i felt like i had to consider his feelings above my own and if he did lose his kids i would ruien his life, i went ahead,when i came round the nurse said he had gone i discharged myself and sat outside waiting,i felt so alone, he said he just needed to clear his head, i feel so guilty and empty ive brought this on myself i know and i deserve all the nasty comments that i might get from this i dont know how i can live with what ive done
Posts You May Be Interested In
Things are so hard. I try so hard. Things are just so hard, I hate physical pain so so much. I feel so down, so beaten up by life. To say I feel defeated feels an understatement what am I doing, why am I even still trying
So I’m sure I’ll figure it out but the previous nights sleep was unsettled of too hot too cold sessions. Then today anxiety and feelings of such despair as well as last words in my head. Wondering how long this period will continue. I suppose I’ll just crawl off and fall asleep with hope to not awaken at all tonight. I should eat but really why bother, I’ve fed son and he has had his meds...