Yes words have the power to heal or destroy. Either or I would rahter have words then someone who expresses quite clear their feelings(or lack of) by saying nothing at all, indifference...

i think a good example of what Flybynight is saying is having a spouse come along "all nice" and say:

"Thats ok honey... its not your fault you don't know how to explain yourself... you're just not as educated as me... just let me do the talking.. that way you won't embarrass either of us."

said real sweet and kind, but ultimately it cuts the recipient down and makes the recipient feel unworthy or less than the other.

I would rather have words that are backed up with action, ie, I love you, then stop by just to say hello and get a hug and a kiss.......

what happens when they are used to confuse and destroy? You stop believing in what they say. Believe in yourself and the actions they display. Easier said then done as we all want to believe what someone says to us, but sometimes, we just have to look at the actions of that person or what they are involved with.

While I love hearing sentiments it means nothing without the backing of the actions that come along with them.

I have always stood by, "Actions Speak louder then words."

An older friend of mine ALWAYS says


If people had to pay for the words they speak, they would choose their words more wisely and say only what they mean and mean what they say.

So true cookie.

I think you mean that actions are stronger then words. But, words are sharper then a double-edged sword...

Words can cut like a knife.

Toad said something similar to this in a song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRJfR_FFK3o

Sad as it sounds, I would rather be punched in the face than to hear the person who is supposed to love me unconditionally call me names and be verbally abusive...

Agreed

"What happens to you when words are used to confuse and destroy you but are so lovingly expressed"

I silent die within as the words roll from their lips. How can this person cut me so lovingly?! You have to decide to either let their words totally destroy you or use them as a means for making something better.

This fits my stbx to a T--during the marriage and through the divorce. He would say things that were so critical and hurt me so terribly.

During our divorce he has used words like "amicable", "friendly", "cooperate", but his actions have been anything but.

Perhaps I should loan him a dictionary so he can find new words.