The house feels so cold and empty tonight. I was so lonely when he was here, these last few years, god knows things weren't good. And god knows I don't EVEN wish him back. But the loneliness really gets to me. When he was here, I was miserable, but there was a fake companionship that worked on some level. I know I am better off this way, the real way, but damn it is cold. The total lack of human companionship is getting to me big time. I mean, without work or grocery store clerks, there would be no human contact. I know, I know, it is all within my power to change that, to seek out new friends, etc, but it is jsut so hard right now, so really hard. I realy hate him and I really hate her fake friendship. They are two miserable. selfish, addicted, immoral, cruel human beings and I truly do wish the worst for them (I know that is unkind, but it is what I think, I cannot even fathom any good reason for the betrayal on both their parts).

Geez, hitting the low spots again tonite! But I am functioning better, overall.