Today was the day. The gavel has been banged and my marriage is officially dissolved. Not only do I not feel better, I feel awfully pessimistic about the future. At first I thought that the "big day" was going to be great. I was going to have a marriage license burning party and yada yada yada. All I've done today is go to court and come home and just kind of sat in quiet reflection trying not to feel any guilt, knowing that it's not all my fault, but at times punishing myself for things that were beyond my control. Why can't I get past the feeling that life just completely sucks. Maybe tommorow will be better.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??