moment to moment for now and then later day to day and soon it will get easier. Reality can really slap us in the face sometimes, there is no shame in taking your time in recovering from this blow

No one ever thinks it will happen to them and no one ever thinks they'll get through it and be happy again. Both are of course incorrect.

When you're wounded, it is important to conserve your energy and spend it on the things that matter the most to you. When you feel lucid, come up with the short list and try to spend your time on those priorities. Everything else can wait for a while.

And you mostly get through these types of things by allowing yourself to feel whatever you have to...and, most important, by being brave. You just have to be brave sometimes to get up and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Terrier lecture over. So sorry for you and the family but let me be the first to say I am optimistic about your future. Do your best to relax and lean on whoever you need to.

Peace.

Really, it is moment-to-moment, minute-to-minute, hour-to-hour then day-to-day. I hear your pain in your post, and I am reminded of 3 months ago when it was so new to me. I hurt more then than I had in a very, very long time, and I was so scared. You WILL get through this -- and you will help your kids get thru this too! Come here and talk anytime, that helped me alot.

Thank you for the ecouraging words. The last 3-4 weeks have been surviving day to day. I don't know how much more of the day to day I can go. I just want to wake up from this nightmare.

You'll be surprised by how much pain and heartache you can take and still keep going. You have your girls to love and love you back.

wow, i wish i could give you that one phrase that would make you feel better, All I can think to say is you are not alone, mine is doing the same, pray hunny, God will give you the strength to get threw this. He helped me...it does not make me cry anymore.

I feel your pain, we all do. All of the advice thus far has been exactly what I'd say. Can your mom keep the girls tonight? Maybe you could have some girlfriends over. If you haven't yet, try to get into therapy. It really seemed to help me initially.

It's still early if it's only been 3 weeks. If you want to work on it and he doesn't, you still can. The thing that seems to have the best chance of helping, at least in the short term, is to focus on you. Change things you can or want to change, make new friends, show strength. DON'T beg, argue, or pursue & guilt trip him. Some people seem to respond to this and others don't. It definitely slowed my divorce early on even if it didn't prevent it.

I am so sorry for you, unfortunately, life is not fair and you got a raw deal. You are right - why could he not have told you a year ago you needed to makes changes in your relationship. We can all say that. Take it as everyone says - one day at a time, one step at a time. You will feel like you are on a roller coaster. The pain comes in waves, you may have a good day followed by the worst day yet. That is part of the process and gets easier as time goes by. The ache does leave. The memories are killers. Do what YOU need to do to survive, it is different for each one of us and nobody will judge you on what you need to do. Thank god for your kids - they help to keep you grounded. Good luck.

I went through this four months ago amd I am so sorry for your heartache. Have no additional advice to add what has been said. It is all excellent advice. It may seem like the world has ended now but you will get through this and the pain will ease.