Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am new to this site and need advice....
My husband and I have been married 4 years. We were together 2 yrs before that.
We had talked a lot before we got married about what we wanted out of life. A lot of the conversations were about children. I really want them. We had both talked about how much children would mean to us and that we both wanted a couple of them. We had even figured out middle names for the first born boy and/or girl. We had also agreed to wait a couple years before we had them. He is 4 yrs younger than me. We wanted to spend more time getting to know each other. Doing things we new would change when we had them.
He told me 2 weeks ago that he does not need children. That he does not care if he has them. That at this point in his life he thinks it would be crazy to have kids anytime in the near future. We are doing good financially. But he says he does not want to have them until he can afford to do anything he wants. That he does not want to have to make any sacrifices. I asked him what made him change his mind and he said nothing. It is just how he feels.
I have asked him a couple times since then and he says the same thing.
I am 31 and I know I still have time....But will his thoughts change even more? I do not know how to deal with this. I suggested counseling or therapy and he told me no way. That it was a stupid idea. He does not see a problem with any of this...........
My husband and I have been married 4 years. We were together 2 yrs before that.
We had talked a lot before we got married about what we wanted out of life. A lot of the conversations were about children. I really want them. We had both talked about how much children would mean to us and that we both wanted a couple of them. We had even figured out middle names for the first born boy and/or girl. We had also agreed to wait a couple years before we had them. He is 4 yrs younger than me. We wanted to spend more time getting to know each other. Doing things we new would change when we had them.
He told me 2 weeks ago that he does not need children. That he does not care if he has them. That at this point in his life he thinks it would be crazy to have kids anytime in the near future. We are doing good financially. But he says he does not want to have them until he can afford to do anything he wants. That he does not want to have to make any sacrifices. I asked him what made him change his mind and he said nothing. It is just how he feels.
I have asked him a couple times since then and he says the same thing.
I am 31 and I know I still have time....But will his thoughts change even more? I do not know how to deal with this. I suggested counseling or therapy and he told me no way. That it was a stupid idea. He does not see a problem with any of this...........
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I'm not saying leave him. I'm just suggesting that you take a look at other areas in your marriage and see if you are the constant compromiser. Could spell real trouble if the two of you cannot have an honest discussion about it.
Best of luck! I'll be praying for you!
My advice to you, is to look deep in your heart and decide if you want to ignore this for years, like I did, or if you want to be honest with yourself and move on. It's extremely hard, I know, I'm there. My ex got a vascetemy in June this year. That was more important to him, than our marriage. I guess kids were more important to me as well. Good luck and I will keep you in my prayers.
I wouldn't stay for his love if you truly want kids because he may want to be alone in a few years and you will be left alone witout being able to have any due to age.
Good luck and I'm so sorry he has done this. Maybe he wanted a "Mommy" and other kids would "displace" him?