Seeing them together makes it real. I have been there. They had to move into the same town that I live in. I spend every weekend walking around the stores, restaurants like a crazy women always afraid to see them. I begged him to take her out of the area -- but no she wanted to live here. Of course she did. My advice to you is to step back and realize that it may all look good on the outside, but you have no idea what is really going on in their relationship. He will never be able to be totally happy knowing how he has hurt you. You deserve better and you will find it. Hang in there. It does get easier!!

One day you will be happy he is your ex. And one day you will find someone to make you truely happy, and he will see you together...Don't jump into a relationship too fast though, or you may end up regretting it.
Just think too,,,,you got rid of your trash, and it may hurt to see him with her, but she will be the next one hurt in the cycle.

Megs I have been here also. My husband insisted this lover was his "friend" for months and then they acted like thier friendship turned into dating. Yeah right! Anyway, she showed up in court with my husband at our custody hearing and she thought she was a prize. I had horrible visions of them for a long time after this. I am always looking over my shoulder as I do not want to see them together. Knowing he left me for her is enough. Last night I was supposed to go to a public event and I knew he was giong to be there with her and my children. For other reasons also I could not get myself to go. It would still be emotional and mental abuse to me. I know I am better off but being left for someone hurts deeply and takes a long time to heal from I believe.

Thanks for the messages, they nearly made me cry. Your right about seeing them together making it real. I don't even get to go out with my friends whenever i want because their his friends too and trying to avoid them is too hard. My ex and I work together and seeing him everyday was getting so much easier but now that i have seen her im not sure how to act at work. And your right Lisa about not knowing what is going on in their relationship. Everything does look perfect at the moment but she has hurt him lots before so hopefully it will be his turn to be heartbroken soon!

I've been there before, so I know how you feel. I'm not sure if there is truly adequate advice to overcome this. It's going to take time, but perhaps this should at least provide you some solid closure and push you into moving on with your own life. It's hard to even say that, as I haven't been able to pick myself off the floor for the last week. I'm trying to get there. Hang on wih me. And the rest of us. You are felt here.

Megs11,

I had to go throught that also. Even though it was with an ex b/f, it still hurt like the dickens. The problem that I had was that he called my son the night before and let him know that he would be there. It was at a game and the arena was big. He sat on the other side which was great but just knowing he was there was hurtful. He even came up to where I was sitting with my mother and he spoke to my mother. I sat there not able to move or breathe. All I can say is that the next day he received an email from me letting him know exactly how he made me feel (which was not very nice). It does get better with time and I avoid my ex with everything I have. Be strong and show him that he is nothing to you.

I know the feeling all too well. My STBX is still living at the house with me until she gets a job and place to stay and she is going out with the other guy and talking to him on the phone and all this crap right in front of me. I mean she usually gos outside to talk on the phone, but like telling me she will be out all night with him. The worst was yesterday when she asked me to drop her off up at the grocery store to meet him so they could go away over night. She didn't want him to pick her up here and neither did I. In that way I can't wait until she moves out.

Ponyboy,
I don't know how you can survive that. A few weeks ago, my STBX had a 'date' with an internet friend. She actually asked me to fix the printer on the computer so that she print directions to the rendezvous (I felt pretty dumb). She promised it was just for dinner and talking, and apparently it was, she was back before midnight. Either way, I thought I was going to drop dead that night from the combination of being scared (for her), betrayed, jealous etc. I couldn't breathe, one minute wondering whether I was going to a get a call from the cops that she was beaten by an internet predator and the next wanting to find the guy and beat him. I asked her never to do that again while we are still living together and she agreed (at least for now!). I can't imagine the pain you are going through, you are a stronger guy than me.

I know this hard. I have my STBX and OW on video. I can watch it over and over for my own viewing pleasure. I only needed to watch it one time for the image to get stuck in my head. My best advice is fill up your head with other images, current happy ones. Force the negative images out of your head.