Because sometimes we want to wallow in self-pity and those who truly care about us will rarely afford us that privilege, so we withdraw to sulk and lick our wounds in private.

It's okay to want to be alone and gather your thoughts in the beginning but this should not be abused or it will only delay the healing process more than necessary.

So times it is just easier to stay away instead of hearing how are you doing twenty times a day.

who isolates? Us? or THEM?

When I first separated I emailed everyone a few times. Then I stopped.

Who needs 'em. The true ones float back up to the top, the rest can go......

In my case I moved away, I am living somewhere different, I have a new girlfriend and I do not see my old friends much anymore. I find it too painful to see my old friends. Who know that I am separated and the reasons why. I feel as if some have taken sides or are avoiding me anyway. stupid thing to say but that is the way I feel. I also feel I do not want anybody who knows me to see me this way.

Great question. My reasons are:

1. I'm in pain and need to heal.
2. My focus is on my children and helping them to thrive despite all of this.
3. The divorce process -- it is so long and draining: the financials, the decisions...who has time for friends?!
4. I can't stand other people's questions or hurtful comments (not necessarily intentional, but hurtful nonetheless).
5. I'm in a cocoon and when it's time, I will blossom more beautiful than ever before. (And I don't want people to watch me in this process. I want them to say "wow, look at her! How'd she do it?!")

Good answer hope!
I catch myself watching the caller ID and if it is someone that is going to be compassionate I will avoid them. The empathy is appreciated, but can't stand for people feeling sorry for me!

I think because we feel ... alone, unloved, outside the circle, etc. But, it's up to us to live for the future.

It's good to be alone sometimes. You can actually think, cry, wallow in selfpity, contemplate revenge and laugh about it... You have to experience it all to get over the hurt and I think it is difficult to do that when you are constantly surrounded by friends and family.