Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Is this normal?

deleted_user
deleted_user
Every day is so unpredictable - I feel strong and optimistic one minute and the next minute I can only feel heartbreak. Today I haven't been feeling so strong.

I am working hard not to think about where I went wrong in the relationship and blame myself. For every thing he did, I want to blame myself. For instance, he was dishonest and cheated on me so I want to blame myself for my poor judgement. He looked elsewhere for affection so I want to blame myself for not being loving enough....

I know it's wrong but it's so hard to stop.
deleted_user
deleted_user
no its common, I sometimes feel the same way!
deleted_user
deleted_user
No sweety,, you are not to blame,, get angry, but not guilty! He did this,, it was his choice, if there was something wrong, he should have talked with you about it!!! Do NOT, accept the blame!!
Love yas!
deleted_user
deleted_user
It is hard to stop, it's hard to feel good about yourself again. Big hugs, It's important that you try and stop blaming yourself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can totally relate. I know I made mistakes but I want to blame myself for everything too. It is hard to stop, but keep trying.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with jerriean. It's not your fault...period! Don't EVER blame yourself for something he did. I know that it's hard to stop blaming yourself, but you need to.
deleted_user
deleted_user
That is a normal process in healing. I did the same thing. If I only did this ir if I only did that. You will eventually stop placing the blame on yourself and you will place it where it belongs with him. There is no good excuse for cheating. Keep your chin up.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I wouldn't say it is wrong to blame yourself. You are searching for answers and all of us have to admit if there was any part we played in the situation, knowingly or unknowingly.

However,there are two sides to every coin, so don't beat yourself up. One thing causes the next reaction and if we aren't aware it spirals quietly out of control.

I share your feelings. So sorry.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It is very common. I feel the same way. I was strong all week, but then we talk on the phone and I get weak again.

I have been sick the last couple of days and I can't figure out if I have a stomach flu or if I am sick over him.

I have good days, and bad days. I want him back. :(
deleted_user
deleted_user
I feel the same way regularly. I have only been divorced for about 2 months and I am feeling guilty, lonley and yuckie.
deleted_user
deleted_user
When you are the person that is left behind you blame yourself. I do this all the time. That I should have acted a certain way and think I should have dealt with things differently. I am trying to realize that we are the ones who would do anything to make it work and our partners did not want to do that. I sometimes feel like I was thrown out like a piece of garbage that was not good enough.
deleted_user
deleted_user
remember you did not start this mess when the going got tough the weaker ones run away from the problems it always the tough ones that stay behind to deal with all this mess
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are only normal in your way of thoughts and feeling. I am starting to believe we feel the pain,tears,guilt in the way that we do, is because we are decent human beings who have been slapped down by someone we loved and trusted, who now treat us poorly, trying to inflict their guilt upon us. Still trying to work my way out of this maze.
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