Aborden said "Be yourself. If that's not good enough...it's time to move on"

Agree 100%, if you can't be accepted and accept the other person for who they are it is not a healthy relationship, you deserve better, we all deserve better, move on and start the healing process.

I know the first two or three months after my stbx left I went back and forth about trying to "win" her back, but ultimately she had stopped caring or trying years ago let alone months ago when she finally left. So I decided I needed to stop letting her hang ups be my stumbling blocks. It's a process, but I'll get there and I no longer dread going home, though it sometimes is extremely lonely. I hurt for our kids, but in the long run they will be better if they can see a healthy outlook from me.

Ultimely, I'm saying it's time to move on when your the only one that is willing to work on the relationship, because it takes both to make it work.

Thank you all for your advice. I really really apreaceate it. You all are very right and I am not going to fake it. But I am going to do alot more for myself now. I was 16 when I had my son and now I'm 24 have 4 kids so I kinda missed my youth and have relly let myself go all but a few self make overs here and there. Never take any time for my self and I guess I thought that would help get him back, But I'm not going to do this for him. I relly want to feel good for me. I realy miss sitting there and getting dressed up and doing my make up. All this last week I have gone shopping and bought new makeup perfume, cloths. All in effort to make him want me but I know that is realy not going to work, but I,m glad i treated my self it realy has been a long time. I do plan on being more independent witch will be a slower process it's going to be alot of work, Child care, look for a job, and all that stuff. But thanks everyone for being honest, I alreaddy feel a bit better aleast for today.