Sometimes you hate your friends, but you get over it.
Sometimes you hate your mom or dad, and you get over it.
Sometimes you will hate your kids, but this passes.
Sometimes you hate your job, but you get over it.
Sometimes you hate where you are living, and get over it.
But always, when people hate there spouse they just get a divorce.

(do I sound like that poet lady or what...lol)

STBX would call me in to negotiate "emotional" things for him...then push me out of the way once he felt that he had a grip on it.

He used to take me to the Client/Rep Meetings, to break the ice, until He felt comfortable in these situations.

He used me as his Voice Coach, Writing Coach-You Name It...

Now, he says that I did NOTHING for him. He made Himself.

All of the things that Needed me for-he now resents the Hell out of me for.

Yes, opposites can attract-it can be Great, unless one has "issues"...then it becomes a nightmare.

I loved being Useful, didn't bother me to be in the background, I didn't want the credit...I just never expected to be Blamed as Controlling...

Thanks for the replies. Tami I think you hit the hammer on the nail "when one has issues it could be a nightmare" and being called the "controller". Sometimes I wonder if he was just faking it and later just began to really hate me. He kept saying that I could never love him as much as he loves me. I don't understand, I'm confused. I guess I shouldn't try and figure it out but just take care of myself. Thank you both.

I think almost everyone here, especially those early on in the divorce both love and hate their stbx's. That's what makes it so damn hard. But yes, you can "hate" your spouse and stay married, communicate every little thing. If we hadn't stop communicating we would have gotten through it.

It all comes down to finding common ground. We are all not perfect. I tried and ended up frustraded each time trying to do things perfectly for my wife amd I would beat myself up for it. Our spouse knew who we were when we got married and they accepted us for who we were when we committed to each other. Yes people change over time but that is called growth. Sometimes it is bad, sometimes it is good. It is what we decide to do together to work on the bad to make it good. If the other just doesnt have the heart for it anymore they look for the easy way out. Marriage takes work for both people at the same time not one at a time. Its all in timing and commitment.

They are sometime also on a roller coaster. Last night I had barely two words out of my W and then today, we are instant messaging like high school kids. It is hard to know where you stand, so sometimes we should just ask.

The sad thing is... I don't think there was a single moment when I hated my wife, or when she felt hated. Not even when she told me she wanted to separated.

Maybe that's why she got bored. :-)