I found out my husband was cheating on me, I don't know the details, how long or even how many times, he won't talk to me about it. I was devastated even though I have suspected it for a long time. I knew he hasn't been happy for a long time, but I thought somehow things would get better. I was so angry and hurt after confronting him I went right to a lawyer. This was a mistake. I was not in the right frame of mind to make such a big decision. I think my husband was glad I went, he has wanted a divorce for a long time but couldn't bring himself to do it until I got a lawyer. Its been 2 weeks since I found out and as terrible as I feel it has caused me to soul search and what I found out about myself is ugly. I realized I was so afraid of losing him that I pushed him out the door. I blamed him for how bad and scared I felt and I treated him badly. I didn't show him any love or support even when he made numerous efforts. I also realize that I need to make some serious changes in my life, whether we work things out or not. I really want to make our marriage work. I just don't know if its possible after all the hurt.
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