Happily ever after is NOT a possibility. It never is, and if people believe relationship will lead to this they are delusional and will cause and end up in pain.
Relationships are not automatically going to always be happy just because they started that way- Too many people get surprised when the shine wears off and the happilly ever after becomes a lack of communication and deceit.
I think the best we can do is "Ever After Working Toward Happiness"

Maybe I should rephrase the "happily ever after" to "survivng through to whatever outcome".

Like Waverly said, there is no Happily Ever After. But it shouldn't be A Guided Trip Through Hell, either.

I wonder if there's a link between ADD/ADHD and patience? Seems like more and more people are so focused on everything else going on -other- than their marriage that they seem surprised when it falls apart in front of them, either by their neglect or their spouse's.

I'd be content with a "Happily Married from now until death do us part" but I know that kind of commitment, dedication to communication, and finding smiliar expectations for fidelity will be hard to find.

But there's no rush...

My husband the same way. It is emotional starvation for me no matter what I do. Is he passive-aggressive? Sounds like he cannot make a decision to commit or to let go. Also like mine.

Happiness ever after is a concept we learned in fairy tales. Once the initial lust and infatuation are pretty much gone (about one year), the work starts. And being happy in a marriage takes a lot of work: commnunication, compromises, compassion, respect of the other, honesty, vulnerability, constant negociations, etc... For a lot of people (as I found out) it is just easier to move on to another fresher relationship, probably only to repeat the same mistakes. Hopefully for you therapy will lead to happier days, with or without him.

I really do think that there is such a thing. But both people have to be open and willing to talk about things as they happen. My husband hid so much from me, how can you feel a closeness when things are being hidden. It makes the person hiding them become closed so they don't slip with something, then the other thinks it is their fault. I just tried so hard to always be open and he just closed up and didn't deal with anything.

I used to believe in happily ever after, but i now realize the older you get the more heart breaks you go through, the more you know that happily ever after doesn't exist. Relationships need so much work: love, trust, communication, respect, and they all need to be worked on over a long relationship or a marriage. I agree with Waverley, we are always working towards the happiness we hope for.

I'm not sure I belive there is a happily ever after for everyone, or that everyone will find it. I dont' want to be a pessimist, life has def changed my view on this. But I do know its never a bad thing to dream. Thats what keeps us going. Don't be delusional about it as Waverley said, but if you don't dream, what do you have left? Just do it with the realization and knowledge that you are dealing with whats at hand here in life and not just dreaming it all away. Best of luck!