it means your not taking his crap anymore, no one has a right to beat down your self-esteem and self-confidence, and the reason he points out what he thinks are your faults is because he is to much of a chicken shit to look inside himself. he wants you to feel like crap. why would you respect someone like that. he has no respect for you. you might not exactly saying goodbye, but your saying i've had enough.

It sounds as if you are saying goodbye to having this person beat you down. How could that possibly be wrong? How could that not be a good thing? Someone else on DS said this, not me, but if you were listening to a very good friend tell you how she is not letting a person make her feel worthless - what would you tell her?

Next time he starts pointing out all your faults, tell him to use a mirror and not a looking glass.

I am so angry at my stbx that right now I am not feeling any love towards him. I think that men like this thrive on making us doubt ourselves so that we feel so unworthy of love that we put up with them. I do love my stbx because I have 3 beautiful reasons that fill my life everyday but I am past being in love with him anymore.

I guess we should be glad they make it easy to not be "in love" with them anymore, Maybe that will help us heal and grow through this process

You can only beat a dog down for so long before the dog just won't get back up.

That's a normal response to abuse.

I feel that it is part of the process that I have had to go through. Yes I believe it is a good thing, when someone hurts and tries to destroy you why should you love and respect them. I had to keep asking myself..if he wasn't my husband would I want to be friends with him? The answer was always..Hell no!

The way you feel is never wrong, and you don't fall out of love over night, anger and resentment and hurt can replace love over time. I fell out of love with my ex and it was because of the emotional beat down. It sounds like he is emotionally abusive. This can be very difficult to recognise because it can comes in so many ways and usually the abuser doesn't even know they are doing it. I was with an emotional abuser for almost 6 years before I "snapped" and realized I didn't even love this man anymore, I didn't even want to look at him. We all have a breaking point and it sounds like you have reached it. I now realize almost a year after separation that I cared about my husband and still do but the love that a wife should have for her husband was lost long before I realized it. When I left I told him why I was leaving and that I had too much hurt inside and that I did not love him anymore. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do but I felt like I had a huge weight lifted off me because I wasn't living a lie anymore. He was hurt in one moment but I was hurt over years. I think actions speak louder than words and if he is hurting you emotionally is that really love? Be couragous and true to yourself, you deserve respect and love and if you are not getting it maybe it is time to make a change in your life.