Here is the situation. I've been married 9 years and together a total of 14 years with my husband. During that time, we have dealt with several obstacles, infertility, miscarriage and finally we had a daughter who is now 4. My husband was always very controlling in that he didn't want me to have friends who go out for dinner with a friend or even be with my family. I did stand up for myself at times and I do have a good relationship with friends and family. During our marriage, my husband has threatened divorce if I didn't do certain sexual things that he wanted. I sometimes gave in despite how I felt about it. Lately, I have not given in to his sexual demands. So, 2 days ago he tells me that he is done trying in our marriage and he wants out. I suggested counseling which he totally refused to go to. I attend counseling sessions regularly to help deal with his sexual demands. Last night, my husband moved out. He gave me no other explanation other than - you are a good mother but a horrible wife - of course, the only way I can translate that is you won't meet my sexual demands so that makes you a horrible wife. He refuses to talk to me about what his issues are. I have been told by my friends and family that this isn't my fault. Yes, I do think that it takes 2 to make and break a marriage. But, I've met his sexual demands despite how I felt about what he was asking me to do. And yet that isn't good enough for him. I just can't imagine what happened to us. When we met and got married, he didn't have these sexual demands. I almost feel that it is my fault because I didn't stand up to him and say No to his demands that made me extremely uncomfortable. I guess that is why I question if this is my fault? The few times I did try to stand up for myself, he always threatened divorce. I just never thought that he would leave me over sexual demands that are not normal to most people. We did get a long on other topics in our lives, raising our child, travel, home, etc. If anyone has any advice on how I can cope with all of this, I would really appreciate it.
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