Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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Is It Just Me?

sundance1958
sundance1958
Can I get a few opinions on this one matter. I still live with my husband however we are seperated . He has moved on with his life and does not tell me anything at all . On Sat Morning around 10 a.m he decides to tell me he is going to see some friend at his camp. I do not know who or where. I asked him if he would be back in time to give his dog his medication or should I. He said no he would probably be back around 5pm Well as of 20 minutes ago (Sun 545) I did not know if something happened to him out in the bush somewhere since he never returned any of my calls to his cell phone. I only asked one thing of him was for him to let me know he was okay nothing more. Well it wasn't until my last message on his phone that I was really starting to get scared that he had an accident and may be in the bush alone some where in the last message I said if I did not hear from him within the hour I will assume something has happened and I will call the police to look for him. So when he heard that he decided to call me and in the call I got from him he was angry and made me feel like I was a nut for thinking something could of happened. It is not his usual habit to go over night. He has medication he takes and did not have that with him so it is natural for a person to start to think something is wrong. I may not get along with him much any more but I certainly would be devestated if something bad happened to him. Okay after being so long winded my question is. He was not very kind on the phone and he suggested I was a nut. Am I
deleted_user
deleted_user
No way! You had a very real concern about his safety. What a jerk to make you feel as if you did something wrong. You are a very caring person and did the right thing. Don't let him make you think you're the one with the problem.
deleted_user
deleted_user
He is a nut maybe. You seem fine.
deleted_user
deleted_user
This may sound harsh, but if you are still living in the same house and you are worried about his coming and going, are you really separated?

You sound very sweet and sincere. I hope this works out for you. Personally, I couldn't live in the same house with a man from whom I was getting a divorce. If I thought it meant he might stay, I could see staying in the same house, and there are many circumstances where people have to or choose to stay in the same house. I just think it would make it more difficult.

I don't mean to sound uncaring and I don't know your particular circumstances, so forgive me if I am at all out of line.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your not nuts. I am also seperated, and I get a worried too when I dont hear from my hubby at a certain time. It means you still care. But one thing I have learned is when you are seperated, you need to give your spouse some space. And Its not easy. But its definitely a must.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are not a nut! Of course you were worried about his safety and well being. Makes total sense. Totally normal.
deleted_user
deleted_user
you have a valid reason to be concerned about the meds but I would let him do as he does if you are truely seperated. There will come a time when you won't be under the same roof so this might be the first eye opener that you get what it will be like when he is not living with you. It is just changing your way of caring for him.
deleted_user
deleted_user
If caring about another human being is an indicator of insanity, then we need more lunatics.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My stbx and I continued to live together for 6 months after we decided to divorce, for financial reasons.

I'd get the same way when he went off for hours on the weekends. Even though I knew we weren't "together" any more, it was still hard not to worry. And he reacted with anger also, as if I was totally insane to care about him. (Maybe he was right about that!)

Once we moved into separate places, it all got a lot easier.

Are you two trying to work things out, or planning on divorcing?
deleted_user
deleted_user
You're not nuts..you still care. He is living his life as if you are not his wife..it's time you did the same thing. The calling does sound a little bit extensive..he doesn't want you to worry about him...Separation is the time where you do just that separate your lives.....which is hard to do when you're still living together.
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