When you married your spouse you were on the same page. Hook up with us and someone is bound to change also.
It happens.

They say power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

I think if you make one person too powerful in the relationship, usually putting your desires on the side to give them what they want more often then compromising on something for the 2 of you, they get too strong in the relationship and think they can move on without you.

Until we fix how we enable people to mistreat us and we still want their affection, I agree with zoot any new relationship will end up like our old one.

For me, I compromised myself, now I have huge trust issues to deal with..and trusting myself to make the right decision is one of them!

I think we ignore red flags in the name of love, when they pop back up later we seem surprised, when we shouldn't be at all.

I remember finding a group of people here who's spouses were acting EXACTLY like mine. It was really great to compare notes to try to figure out how to try to save my marriage and then how to accept I couldn't. If you want to see something really funny, do a search on myspace for people your age who are divorced. Compared to DS, they are a very, very scary bunch! This site has been so great for me.

I appreciate your candor, even if some of it is libation induced. (Cheers) I think that the problems begin when two people become emotionally invested in a relationship and try to make the relationship what they need it to be. My marriage counselor said that most maritial disputes stem from power issues, trust issues, and intimacy issues. Money, how to raise kids, and sex (could be power could be intimacy) - all come under the power issues because an individual thinks that things should be a certain way and they are not. Trust issues of course govern all outside relationships (family, friends, coworkers, potential lovers - etc).
Intimacy issues stem from how "close" the partners feel to one another and their children. I think that most people (not all) have descent morals when their needs are being met, it is when they feel pushed around, trapped, ignored,or unloved that things start to happen.

I think that in a marriage no matter how closely your morals match with the person, especially with raising kids keeping house, working finances, sometimes it just isn't right. One day you or she looks at you and realizes that there's something wrong. I'm not saying that it comes out of the blue, but I kind of always thought it wouldn't work with my x, knew that we had problems. like some of the other posts i gave her the power, i let her run everything, and i sacrificed the things that i wanted to do to "make her happy".