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Is he really missing me

deleted_user
deleted_user
Ok I need some help figuring this out. When my husband left 17 months ago he asked me to leave him alone to think and figure things out. Well stubborn me I didn't I called, texted, and emailed him all the time till he said I drove him crazy. Well he then fell in the arms of another women. I don't know if it was a one time thing or if it is a on going thing. He does live with her but they were just friends at first. Well now I have stopped everything and it has been 3 weeks and he calls and we have really good talks. He says he has been thinking allot about me and is really working on himself to figure out why he did the things he did and the stupid choices he made. He also called me yesterday and asked me to leave work and meet him at the house to talk. I did and it was nice. Real nice!!. So do I take this as hope or should I just leave it go and assume he is just wanting to hold on to me as a friend. Thank you for and advice you can give me.
diemjs
diemjs
Funny, read my post about Ok same old story...not exactly like yours, but to me the same general question. Is that we are getting on with our lives, not contacting them for every little thing, that they seem to have to grab hold of what little they might have left of us?
deleted_user
deleted_user
MMM, personally I do think that this sounds like there might be a bit of hope here and that it is possible that he wants to work it out. Be very cautious for now though.
When you do see him act happy and don't appear to anxious to work it out. Do prepare yourself for the possibility that this means nothing and that he wants to be friends.
Expect the best and prepare for the worst.
Stay strong and best of luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Every story is different and to tell you that you are doing the right or the wrong thing would not be fair. No one knows your husband. I do know that sometimes when we leave our spouses alone for awhile to let them think things through, they have a chance to realize that they have made a mistake. I would say do what makes you feel comfortable, but don't set yourself up for a fall either. If he wants to be with you he will continue to call, email,want to meet you, etc. I wouldn't push anything, just go with your gut feeling. When my husband was real nice to me, I knew in my heart he wanted something, so you will know too, everyone has a "gut feeling" use it. Good Luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
proceed with caution. it's ok to hope, but make sure you are not going to set yourself up for more pain.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you. I will be careful
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are at the exact spot that I haven't seen anyone figure out yet. As long as you leave them alone & act like you're moving on, they start chasing you, but in ever case I've seen so far, as soon as you start reciprocating, he'll back off again.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks bhamguy. That is what I am afraid of. Since I met with him yesterday is he now going to stop calling me?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Don't give up hope, but I would limit how much you contact him because it is good that he wanted to see you yesterday, you limiting your pursuit of him seems to be working...
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with post #4. You need to ask yourself "what has changed?", to bring about this remorse on his part. I am scared mine will try and come back as soon as the new wears off his new found "friendship". I just don't think I can go through this again. so in my case I would probably say no. But you are the only one that can make that kind of decision.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The stat's on this board is that if one leave for another person. The get back together is still likely to fail. Proceed with caution and set the standard high ---make 'em work hard to earn trust and a way back into your home and heart.
deleted_user
deleted_user
awesome direction here, really can't add anything except stay on track with making yourself happy. making a happy life for you. stay focused on you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am trying to stay focused but it is hard
MimiL
MimiL
Im sure he is missing you..because you gave him the oppurtunity tooo...even when married men are by nature chasers and it is what stimulates them, just play it like poker to protect yourself only put as many chips in and he does and the more you pull back and make him wonder here and there the more he will chase...ever here that country song..."Shake the Sugar tree" I dont care if you dont like country the words are for real...let him miss you...you are missable and desparation isnt pretty on anyone come here when you feel that.....its hard I dont always live by my own words but Im better off when I do..
deleted_user
deleted_user
About a week after I moved out, my x wanted to talk to me. I went. We had a nice talk. He wanted me to move back in. I told him I was fine where I was. But, if he would like to work things out while living apart, that was fine with me. As it turns out, all he wanted was his control back. I'm so glad I didn't get back into the relationship!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I come from a similar background as you momof2. I couldn't get over the idea that she didn't want to be with me or our child. I bugged the hell out of her for a long time and when I finally got strong enough to stand on my own 2 feet was when she wants me the most. But as soon as I let my guard down, she's back on the warpath. She still tells me that she holds out hope for us, but I've realized that if I give of myself too much, it doesn't benefit me either way. Stay strong for yourself and your family but keep letting him know what he's missing. You may have caught lightning in a bottle this time. Who knows? It's okay to be positive, but just don't let him know that you are. He sees the confidence and control you reflect and he's scared for the first time of losing you instead of vice versa.
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