Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I have been dating a guy for four months. Things were great in the beginning but now it's great on somedays and hell on other days. I feel like I can't talk to him about anything without him blowing up or saying things like I'm crazy, and pathetic. He left his e-mail up and I know it was wrong to look at it. But I did, and he got so mad he told me to leave cause I asked him about some old e-mails to his exwife and some he had gotten from a singles site before we met. All I asked was for him to get rid of it. He said I didn't deserve any explanations and that he didn't have to do anything cause it was his private stuff. That he wanted to keep it cause if his kids asked why their parents weren't together he could show them he tried to make it work but their mother didn't. He told me I had nothing to worry about, that he didn't love her anymore he was only concerned about the kids, it was old stuff and that he keeps all e-mails. So the otherday I found an article on this type of stuff saying how it was bad to keep things like that and how it causes problems in a new relationships. I sent it to him. Now he's telling me that he feels like we are back at it again and that he doesn't see a future with us and the he doesn't know if he loves me. I tried to break it off yesterday and he asked me not to do that to him. Is he playing with my head? Does he really love me? Why is it so hard to move on and say you know what I don't need this.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
You are a very cute women and seem to have a great deal going for you. In addition, you are on the right path to success. You have only been dating this guy for 4 months and already there are red flags! Being married and stuck is one thing.....you are neither. I teach Domestic Violonce and it is all about mental power.....if it is like this now, when you have your freedom, imagine when or if you got married. Mental abuse starts off slow....there are red flags here. The problem is clearly not with you...but him. There is a reason he has an ex....think about it! Please do not put up with any mental abuse, it will drag you down as it has demonstrated in your note. It is better to be alone than wishing you were alone. Believe me, I know. Do yourself and child a favor...leave now!
If he found notes from an ex boyfriend that was very special to you, would you want him to tell you to throw them away just so he could feel better?
He is not flaunting this stuff in your face. It's not like he keeps her picture up in the living room for you to see, He keeps them in a personal place that only he should view.
It would bruise my ego a little when I found old teddy bears and things of that nature that people gave my wife before we met, but I have memento's as well that I would not want to part with. It's sometimes not about who gave them to you, it's about how you felt at the time.
Please also realize that you were both fully functioning independent people prior to meeting each other. There were bound to be moments of happiness before you met. Focus more on creating more of your own moments together than the ones that already happened. Then you will see more of your emails kept and your pictures up in the living room.
To you she is just a former wife, remember though that she is the mother of his children!
Moonlight, wanting to hide things and keep secrets is not healthy to anyone, There is a reason that he wants these things to be kept from you. A healthy relationship meens an openess on both sides.
Once you work on your relationship the old memories won't seem as important.
As for the crazy and pathetic- that is a deal breaker. He should not be saying that to you. Everyone is right, if he can say that to you so early in the relationship what else is he capable of?
If and when this relationship is over, try dating people. It seems like you've made such a serious commitment so quickly in this one. Just have some fun.