It is easier to ask a question then it is to answer one.

The answer is not from them but from within ourselfs, Why not get past this and find true happiness.

I only have this much hope many others tell us the answer to WHY...

It's only natural I guess. But I don't ask why anymore 'cause I just don't care. No explanation is going to make me say "great I'm glad you told me, now I can get on with my life"...LOL

I'm doing that anyway I don't need him to give me his lame a$$ excuse anyway 'cause I don't buy it!

Jungle, I guess the only way I can relate to this, is when you have a sore in your mouth, and even though you know it's going to hurt, You still end up putting your tongue on it. I guess we are all looking for some kind of reason? Maybe to get closure? You got me friend!

Because we have a need to be right and them wrong. If we don't get a sufficient answer, then obviously they are wrong.

So, the real answer is to quit trying to be right. Accept things as they are. Sounds impossible doesn't it? I've been there.

Most of us will never get any answers, but you move on...someday the answers will no longer matter, and then you will know you are on your way!

Why do I or we do this to ourselves when we know the outcome will not change a thing. I like an appreciate all the good comments so far. DS has alot of helpfull people in here for sure.

2kids I long for that day to come when it wont matter.

Asking why is a natural reaction. At first, it may be about keeping hope of reconciliation alive. Once that hope is gone, asking why is more about simply educating yourself.

Joe, I am so much in that stage. I keep hoping it will pass. My counselor tells me my husband doesn't know himself. Damn that is helpful. I guess that I just want to make sense of something that doesnt make sense to me. I don't even know what to tell people when they ask. I have always tried to explain things to people, and I expect that from others. If you are making a choice that is this big and affecting so many people, you should have a damn good reason.

For me asking why was about trying to make sense of the unimaginable - that someone I thought I was going to grow old with no longer wants me and that it was only always about him - always.

Now that I know why (he is what he is & always has been), I am focusing on learning more about myself. I am learning to trust my gut instincts and will pay attention to the red flags. I will listen to my inner voice with the highest regard.

I am learning that the answers I need are within.

perhaps somewhere in us we think if we know WHY, then things will change and get better. I keep doing this, and for some dumb reason, I think this will get fixed once I know WHY

We ask why because we think it will help us to understand. Unfortunately curiosity killed the cat.

I agree with Lynthegal - and waiting for the moment when I don't care anymore - - I spent most of last week asking WHY???

Im the kind who must ask why all the time. I know I'll never get the complete answer or even one to my satisfaction, but the more I know about what contributed to all the problems, even if it is from her perspective, is going to help me in the future. It will give me information that I can use, beit warning signs in a future relationship, or pracical things I might be able to do to better my current relationships. We will NEVER get an answer to our Why questions that will allow us to completely understand why our partners have hurt us the way they have-but we may get enough information to help us frm getting as hurt again.