
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

deleted_user
with custody parenting plan. alot of you may know that i went to mediation yesterday and it went awful , I think. the mediators were pushy and i felt, they were kinda siding with stbx to do 50/50 which I DONT WANT.
we came up with
m and tu MOM
W and th DAD
every other weekend with Dad
every other weekend with mom
now ive come up with something else cause i still think the above is too much yo yo business for the kids and i woke up early this morning not able to sleep because im feeling uncomfortable about the mediation visit. etc etc etc.
anyway i came up with this:
mon thru Friday with MOM
every other M, and W. with Dad after school til 8
every other t, and th with dad after school til 8
every other weekend from friday after school til Monday morning
Id pick them up from the bus on monday afternoon
in the summer stbx would like every other weekend and 2 visits
be honest! Is this too confusing. I did nt think it was. the kids will know where thay will be every day rather than shuffling them around.
ive contacted my attorney of course. but havent heard back from her yet . she should be calling any time now.
we came up with
m and tu MOM
W and th DAD
every other weekend with Dad
every other weekend with mom
now ive come up with something else cause i still think the above is too much yo yo business for the kids and i woke up early this morning not able to sleep because im feeling uncomfortable about the mediation visit. etc etc etc.
anyway i came up with this:
mon thru Friday with MOM
every other M, and W. with Dad after school til 8
every other t, and th with dad after school til 8
every other weekend from friday after school til Monday morning
Id pick them up from the bus on monday afternoon
in the summer stbx would like every other weekend and 2 visits
be honest! Is this too confusing. I did nt think it was. the kids will know where thay will be every day rather than shuffling them around.
ive contacted my attorney of course. but havent heard back from her yet . she should be calling any time now.
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Can you imagine what it would be like to a little on to have to carry a day planner to try and keep track of where they are supposed to be and when? This is cruel,, animals are treated better! When did the 50/50 thing become the "in" thing in divorce? That can be in the "best" interest of any child!
Not angry at you at all,, I can see why you are at such an unrest... why does your H not really love these children? IMO, no parent would want to keep the children this unsettled!
The confusion aspect can be easily overcome by print an Outlook calendar (or any calendar for that matter) and having them draw in with different colors or whatever who they will be with.
How do you feel about a clause that says a quick phone call is needed if either party cannot keep that schedule for any given day (e.g., he is out of town for a day).
I have my worst times when my son is at hers because I have no-one to ground me. Conversely, I get so much done when he is at hers for the weekend, and so much freedom.
Whatever works best for the family.
Don't get discouraged. You are doing what you are doing because you care about the kids.
I am so sorry it is so difficult.
what does anyone think about the 2nd plan i described
it was m-f with me , every other weekend with dad til monday morn and every othe m,w and every other t, th
something like that
i appreciate your inputs
X-1 day a week 9a.m.-7a.m &
Every other weekend Friday day, Sat morning-Sunday night(w/overnights on the weekend starting in 3 months)
Me-have them the rest of the time
Whats really happening so far:
X-every other weekend (1 1/2 days) Saturday morning-Sunday eve.
Me-the rest of the time.
IF your STBX is a good daddy he will honor a good schedule. Mine, he's an ok daddy so there ya go. I agree that too much juggling is bad bad bad.
My ex wife wanted to get me for custody mainly because she wanted more child support only, not to have the children...
when she looked closer at it, she couldn't fit parenting as a priority as well, saw me as a commendable father and would be damaging to the children to try and pull either parent away from the kids unless that parent is going to put the child in danger, etc.
so ive come up with this instead but i dont think i'll share it with him now cause everything it seems, that i come up with, is shot down. im losing hope here . HELP PLEASE.
anyway here it is.
Every other friday after school til sunday at 6
every other mon after school til tues in the morn.
every other wed to thurs morn
he'd wont be w/o seeing them for more than 4 days.
That might work better instead of one day they are with you, the next with him, that is too much tossing back and forth for any children and that mediator needs to find a new job.
Split custody is used alot, and is more stable. If you are both in the same school district that might work out better.
Good luck to you! I still preach stability!