I am so sorry. This is terrible. Can you talk to her and convince her to go to counseling?

It is a roller coaster. I remember the first time a colleague in "real life" said that to me -- he has been divorced -- and I was once again amazed that clearly we all have some real similarities in our break-up/divorce experiences. Just keep breathing, others will be along in a minute to give you some good advice.

I remember those days of knowing the stbx was out with the ow and believe me I know how you feel when you say you think you are going crazy. I still sometimes feel like I am going crazy.

I am exactly where you are. My sbtx left me two months ago and told me last night that she is happy with her new man. I do have both kids with me but I am sad, lonely, depressed and hella angry. Writing here seems to help, also waiting...eventually the pressure in my chest lessens and I can breathe for a bit. I know that many people have survived this..but damn, it is HARD!!

The anxiety from all of this is unbearable. But somehow we all seem to survive. We just don't Want to.

One thought sends adreniline rushing all through our body and we are in fight or flight mode. No reason, really, we just are.

It even happens when the marriage was Hell and we prayed for a way out of it.

This is just Not the way things are supposed to be. Now we have to learn to put Us back together again without Them.

You are not going crazy. You are a normal person having a Normal Reaction to a crazy situation. You will have support here. (((Hugs)))

I have been there too. If you are going to keep your sanity, you MUST stop yourself from thinking about it. If that means going outside and smashing the heck out of something, then do it. Please be good to yourself.

I can't get beyond the infidelity. It's a definite deal breaker. Hope you can find peace in this situation~~~

My STBX was with her boyfriend to today and I lived through it, but of course a little frustrated. Be careful, be very careful, and read up on BCWDA. Google it. read the protect yourself section of that site. As men we MUST control our anger, jealousy, and rage at all costs. Read bcwda.

Oduran, don't ever think that you "drove her" to another man's arms. You may have neglected her, I don't know, but that is something that could be worked on, she chose to take the road of infidelity. When I think of my husband with the ow I think of this:
Having an extramarital affair is like eating dessert when you're on a diet:
The pleasure is short, the guilt is long and the habit can ruin your life.

You are not going crazy my friend, she is, she is choosing a path of destruction. Wait until it starts to fizzle out and the fun is gone and the sneaking around is no more, she'll realize that maybe going to counseling with you would've been a whole lot better than what she got herself into.

it is a roller coaster ride of wild emotions, and it's scary of all of sudden to have such a big change in life. especially if the spouse has left because of someone else or is having an affair. you have to take it one day at a time. just keep coming here, talking to others going through the same thing. we can't take away the pain or the feeling of going crazy, but we can lend an ear. and all of us have felt or are feeling the pain too. hang in there, you to will get through this.