I left my ex - but not for someone else, because she had someone else. So I guess in a round about way, I would like the answer to this question too? But I would also like to know one other thing? If you left your ex for someone else, how can you honestly say you will stay with the one you are with now?

Yes, I like to know answers to these questions too. No bashing. Just help us understand!!

Ditto. I think that's why I can't let go either, because I don't understand.

My STBX left me for someone else(or should I say many others). I guess I knew all along (21+ years) but I always wanted to make it work for the sake of our three children. After two assaults(eight years apart, thank God it wasn't more) and much verbal abuse witnessed by the children, I decided no more.


Three weeks after he left, he wanted to talk to me. I met him because I thought (hoped, wanted) him to say he was sorry. When he saw all my bruises, scrapes, scratches, etc. from moving and putting stuff in storage, he started to cry and told me he was very sorry, that I deserved so much better. The next morning he told me that he didn't remember why he married me or why he even asked me to marry him(he asked me at least 50 times before I said yes). He also said he always just said what he thought I wanted to hear. That is what made me decide I do deserve better, I do not need him to say he is sorry, I can make it without him. At that moment I decided to no longer let him control my life. I shut off all feelings for him. There is no anger, hate, love, absolutely nothing. I will not waste any more time or emotions on him. I am thankful for my many blessings, my faith, my children, my health, my family, my job. The list is endless. I look forward to each day of my new life and the freedom to be who I want to be.

By the way, his latest "someone" would not leave her marriage for him. Even after her husband and I discussed the affair.

He also spends much time calling and whining to the two children who still speak to him that he is alone and no one wants to be with him, no one loves him. As my oldest says "blah, blah, blah" Lots of times they won't answer their phones when he calls them.

It doesn't matter what is going on in your ex's head. It matters what is going on in yours. It is his loss and your chance at a better life. I wish you much joy and happiness in your new life. I know at times it seems you will never be happy again, but you will. I hope you are able to find closure and move on and ahead in your life.
I pray that you find strength in you faith, family and friends.

Take care and have a wonderful life :)