Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
No matter how bad I think things are going I always remind myself that I have SO MUCH to be THANKFULL for. Even if I feel like everything has gone to $#!t, I remind myself it could be worse and IS WORSE for alot of people.
Like alot of you my marriage is ending. I have feelings of regret for lost/wasted time. Pooor decision making in the relationship, starting over ect. My emotions run the whole gamit. Then I saw this story on the news and things in my life did not seem so rough.
Woman was three weeks away from giving birth. Her and her husband were in an accident with a drunk driver. The unborn baby was killed in the impact. Situation is already terrible, then they said they had to remove her Uterus! Now she CAN"T HAVE ANY CHILDREN!
Sent chills through my body when I heard this story.
I feel bad that my marriage is ending but I am in my 30's and I can rebuild. Those of you that are older than me alot of you already have children.
Those of you that cannot have children and are at an age where having them is not an option have at least reached an age where having kids is not an option!
Those of you that have lost children and spouses may still be in their 30's or 40's and can still rebuild better and stronger.
The people I admire the most are in their 50's and 60's. You've lead full lives and still probably have years ahead of you.
I think we can all realize how much we have when we stop focusing, even if just for a moment, on the people who wish us ill will and have done the unimaginable to us. Even if those are people we have shared a life and a bed with.
Our lives can be anything we want them to be no matter what age we are or what our specific situations are. If we chose LIFE over our STBX's that treated us like shit when they were with us anyway. Long post I know, Thanks for reading and I hope it helps.
P.S. to add insult to injury the drunk driver only got 4 years in jail for destroying two lives and ending one before it began.
Please don't waste time and energy on STBX's. Be thankfull for what's god in your life.
Like alot of you my marriage is ending. I have feelings of regret for lost/wasted time. Pooor decision making in the relationship, starting over ect. My emotions run the whole gamit. Then I saw this story on the news and things in my life did not seem so rough.
Woman was three weeks away from giving birth. Her and her husband were in an accident with a drunk driver. The unborn baby was killed in the impact. Situation is already terrible, then they said they had to remove her Uterus! Now she CAN"T HAVE ANY CHILDREN!
Sent chills through my body when I heard this story.
I feel bad that my marriage is ending but I am in my 30's and I can rebuild. Those of you that are older than me alot of you already have children.
Those of you that cannot have children and are at an age where having them is not an option have at least reached an age where having kids is not an option!
Those of you that have lost children and spouses may still be in their 30's or 40's and can still rebuild better and stronger.
The people I admire the most are in their 50's and 60's. You've lead full lives and still probably have years ahead of you.
I think we can all realize how much we have when we stop focusing, even if just for a moment, on the people who wish us ill will and have done the unimaginable to us. Even if those are people we have shared a life and a bed with.
Our lives can be anything we want them to be no matter what age we are or what our specific situations are. If we chose LIFE over our STBX's that treated us like shit when they were with us anyway. Long post I know, Thanks for reading and I hope it helps.
P.S. to add insult to injury the drunk driver only got 4 years in jail for destroying two lives and ending one before it began.
Please don't waste time and energy on STBX's. Be thankfull for what's god in your life.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Just kidding of course. I think it's easier in some ways for those of us with a few miles on the old hot rod. I believe it has to be harder to try and start a new with small children.
My heart goes out to that couple and i can't believe that jerk only got 4 years. I think if you kill someone while driving drunk you should get life in prison
This young woman is so brave, her road to recovery has been so long. She was a competitive athlete. Today she is attending college (away from home) and is swimming again. Many times her bravery helped me through my "little inconvenience" (which by comparison it is).
Freetofly if someone were 39 and could never have children, I would tell them 3 things.
1. Alot of people are told they can't have children and still get pregnant. Or adopt a child, paperwork doesn't have to be involved. Mentor a relatives child or a child that needs some extra support in your neighborhood. The bond can be just as strong as the one you have with your own kids
2. Kids are an extension of your life, not your entire life. Careers, Dreams, Goals, Hobbies, Friends, these are all extensions as well. Although we may not think that these extensions are not as important as children, they can be just as rewarding especially if the person for some reason coud not physically have children.
If you are not pursuing the things you like at least with a small level of urgency or enjoyment, you don't feel good as a person and as strange as it sounds you have less to offer your child.
3. I would also remind the person that 39 is the new 29 you still have at least 30 to 50 years of life ahead of you. They may be in pain now but regardless of who you are there is alot of life and happiness that can be lived in 30 - 50 years.
We have to decide to be ourselves. We are more than our heartache and disappointment. Work on the other parts of your life then believe me the right people will come into you life.
People that will not give you situations that caused you pain now. If your heart ever does ge broken again it's never as bad as the last time. This is my first marriage and my first divorce. I am handling the divorce alot better than my first break up.
I think the same can be said for anyone that takes their life experiences and builds on them.
Happy Thanksgiving. Hugs
C
I pray for him every day. He's not doing what his beautiful wife would have wanted at all but I'm sure his pain makes him bitter and angry. My own problems seem quite small in comparison.
I put up this post as a reminder of how much we have in our lives in addition to our pain. If we look at some of the things or opportunities that others have lost we may be able to focus on what we have in our own lives that we may be missing out on because we are blinded with grief about our current situations.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvnVd8a3cJc
BETTER GET TO LIVIN'
People always comin' up to me and askin'
"Dolly, what's your secret?
With all you do, your attitude
Just seems to be so good
How do you keep it?"
Well I'm not the Dalai Lama, but I'll try
To offer up a few words of advice
Chorus:
You better get to livin', givin'
Don't forget to throw in a little forgivin'
And lovin' on the way
You better get to knowin', showin'
A little bit more concerned about where you're goin'
Just a word unto the wise
You better get to livin'
A girlfriend came to my house
Started cryin' on my shoulder Sunday evening
She was spinnin' such a sad tale
I could not believe the yarn that she was weavin'
So negative the words she had to say
I said if I had a violin I'd play
I said you'd better get to livin', givin'
Be willing and forgivin'
Cause all healing has to start with you
You better stop whining, pining
Get your dreams in line
And then just shine, design, refine
Until they come true
And you better get to livin'
Your life's a wreck, your house is mess
And your wardrobe way outdated
All your plans just keep on falling through
Overweight and under paid, under appreciated
I'm no guru, but I'll tell you
This I know is true
You better get to livin', givin'
A little more thought about bein'
A little more willin' to make a better way
Don't sweat the small stuff
Keep your chin up
Just hang tough
And if it gets too rough
Fall on your knees and pray
And do that everyday
Then you'll get to livin'
The day we're born we start to die
Don't waste one minute of this life
Get to livin'
Share your dreams and share your laughter
Make some points for the great hereafter
Better start carin'
Better start sharin'
Better start tryin'
Better start smiling
And you better get to livin'