Today iv had a mixture of anger & hurt, then i remembered the father of my child who i left 9 years ago doing the same with me. Sometimes id get angry calls & sometimes it would be calls asking me to go back home. i was with him for five years. He even tried to kill himself a few times but it just went over my head. Did he feel like i do today over my ex? Iv never been on the recieving end before. I cant believe i put him through this & thought nothing of it, i didnt know it hurt like this, if id have known i would have at least tried to ease the pain. I left because i just didnt want to be with him anymore, i couldnt talk to him because i suppose i didnt want to face him & see how hurt he was. How selfish of me, i was just thinking of how guilty i would feel. He still hasnt a nice word to say to me to this day. He,s still very bitter even though he is married, He even has his wife calling me nasty names even though iv never met her, i bought their baby son a set of clothes when he was born & they returned them. Is this my punishment for what i done to him? pay back time. If only i knew at the time how much i hurt him id have probably done things different, i dont know what but id have at least tried to make it less painfull. So my point for this post is, maybe the ex/stbx has no idea the pain we are going through, i didnt.
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