I indentify completely. I thought I was careful in picking someone the first time but somehow missed that I was marrying someone who could/would divorce. It took 12 years so how do you trust your judgement again after that?

You just think of all the things you learned from the first. Use them to look for the future! Odd can be beat, but you have to keep playing!

My boyfriend and I were just talking about this. It is scary.

The alternative, to me anyway, is worse.

I'm going to be taking my chances. Life is too short to let worry take over..and keep you from enjoying the best things in life.

My first marriage lasted 8 years (i was young). I waited 20 years before I tried again. I wasn't even looking. Scared to death but got a lot of pressure to marry. So took a chance (he had told me he had been married 2x before - scarier. Day after I married him, I had found out he had been married 3x before me....geez what are the odds that is going to last... well it didn't - 2-1/2 years is all. just separated, and not by my choice. All I can do is just breath deep for a long time. I will try again, hopefully I've learned a lot (like I did the first time) and try to make things better. Try not to be conned by a liar again (he continued to lie through the marriage). I will ABSOLUTELY make sure I know if for a long time before I marry again- maybe 5 years (knew stbx 2-1/2 years before marrying him. Watch for more read flags.

My advice - do it, but take it slow. We are human, so we need connection. I think it's almost easier the second time, because we are older and we realize before it's too late whether or not it will work. Hugs.

I'm going to do therapy and really think hard about criteria to try and prevent repeated mistakes. I'm not going to live in fear. It's worth a try when I'm ready. But I know this I won't be marring an man who left his wife cheating, a man who is selfish or has an addiction history. I think I can already filter for this.

On my second divorce here! I thought my first marriage was forever, but I guess the X thought differently! We were together 10 years when it ended.

I remarried four years later to my STBX who had also been married once before. I didn't know the statistics and I doubt it would have changed my mind as I was "In Love" and thought it would be forever!

I guess I was wrong again! I look back now and see there were some red flags I should have done something about, but I was too in love to care. My STBX cheated in her first marriage and I told myself, people make mistakes and that we would be different. Her first marriage lasted only two years. Well, guess what? Our marriage lasted two years as well before she cheated on me!

I loved being married and coming home to my wife, but I don't think I will ever get married again! It hurts too much to trust someone and then have them turn their back on you when they leave.

Risk is the price you pay to love again. Face your fears. You want gaurenties?

Just winding up second divorce. Imagine what 3rd time thoughts are like.

We only have two choices though. Married or single. Which do you prefer?

I've been married 23 years. Most of them were wonderful. So, if I find the right person and it only lasts another 23 years--and most of them were wonderful--it was worth the wait. I just hope the second time around I can find someone that believes in marriage the way that I do.

I know there are no guarantees which I would not hope for anyway 'cause that's just dumb. But like others I thought I married for forever and I did think I chose carefully but what I knew then and still know now is that stbx was/is a selfish person.

I just did not think that he would be that selfish to want out of our marriage and I guess I was wrong. I thought he was a great guy and I adored him.

Guess I want the some of the same qualities except the selfishness in my next husband and will definitely not compromise on that.

The second marriages that I know that do work...work really well. Of course they are the ones where there are only one set of kids involved or no kids at all. Blended families are tough.

I never heard of the fact second marriages have less of a chance of succeeding...are there facts to back that up?....a link?

In so many cases, people marry young. Then they start off in life. They encounter changes, hardships, challenges, they learn and grow, and sometimes they change over time and their needs, priorities and objectives change as they grow and learn more about themselves. Thats one reason why couples separate.

Seems to me, under those circumstances, second marriages would stand a better chance of succeeding, if one is careful and doesn't rush it...of course.

I still am hoping for that real unconditional love exists.

Tough topic. Stats I was presented with last week say 8 of 9 second marriages fail.

I wouldnt have guessed it that high.

Im gonna say the glass is 1/9th full moving forward. All I gotta do is find another 1/9th-er.

: )