Right you are Alex. Why not focus on what's good for you instead.

Wow did I just say this??? Mine is three months today, I keep trying to convince him too. You know what I am done. It is about us now Alex. I am focusing on me and my girls. The hell with him.

I did the same thing for a long time. Finally it hit me that if you have to convince someone to love you, they're not the right person for you.

I feel so much better and more at peace since I realized that.

You'll get through this, it sounds like you're moving in the right direction.

ditto lythegal

Begging, pleading, invalidating their feelings, and trying to convince him that you are the one who's right will only drive that person away.
you said that the reason he left was that you were too controlling. I would contend that is the reason he is running away.

Take the wind out of his sails and tell him that "you understand him now, and this may be the best thing for us right now"
that should throw him into a a different mental state all together.
In the mean time start working on yourself, change you hair style, go out and buy clothes that you wouldn normally wear, workout and eat a healthy lifestyle.
This time is about you - and before long he will notice a change in you that he nay find attractive, if not other men will begin to notice you. And that might eat him up as well. begin to make a habit of not calling him only in case of emergency, and don't answer the phone when he calls you -let him leave a message and get back to him when you feel it is important.

You are right, Alex! It took me awhile to realize this too. In theory, he would have to propose to me all over again for our marriage to be saved. I didn't force him to marry me 7 years ago, and I cannot force him to stay married to me now. It has to be what HE wants, or all of this will just happen again in a few years.

Alex, I think that is the best thing to do. You can NOT try to convince someone to do or feel something they don't want to/willing to or want to acknowledge. I know, it HURTS!~! Been there, done that. Maybe just distance yourself, SHOW him by distancing yourself that he does have control of his life, emotions, feelings etc. I think that there has been a major communication breakdown somewhere along the line in your marriage. I KNOW that was the case in my marriage. BOTH of you have to learn to not only listen, but "HEAR" what the other person says. Take into consideration "how" that other person feels etc.

Talking with/to someone is a BIG difference than talking AT someone.

Do, validate YOUR feelings, concerns, etc. to him & let HIM validate his feelings, concerns, etc. to you. One thing we ALL tend to do is to interupt the S/O when they are talking. Let them finish saying what they feel, need, want to say. Then, if you do NOT understand something he/she said, tell them that you didn't quite understand it & ASK them if they would say it again, possibly in another way so you could understand it better. Sometimes, people have a hard time explaining/understanding things. That is OK.... It is NORMAL. Just takes A LOT of communication, understanding, compassion, consideration....

There is only ONE person that you can control & that is YOU!~!

I hope this helps.

"Keep Your Chin Up!~!" I'm here if you need to talk

It's hard, I know. But the end of the road is the end of the road- we look to the left and to the right for detours, but there aren't any. It's just the end of the road and time to find another road to walk down.

It's time to salvage Alex, now.

You are on the right path. Letting go is the hardest thing to do. Now time will work itself out. You have new beginings but don't lose yourself stay focus and take it a step at a time a day at a time. You are a survivor my friend :)

ditto what JacJac said

Totally agree with Paulbear.

I love reading everyones input... I am learning so much. like I need to kick my own ass next time I give him the power by asking "now what" YOur all right... we need to let go and stop trying to beg them in 100 different ways to "want us, to love us..."