So yesterday I found out that my husband has a girlfriend. He walked out three months ago tomorrow, and he already has a new love. He never stops to see the kids, so I guess I should have known. I am literally sick with every kind of emotion possible. How could he, ten years we were together, we were best friends. Together we went through hell and back and he just throws it away like it was all for nothing. He tells me that he wasn't getting what he needed from me and he couldn't live the rest of his life like that. But what about what I needed, what the kids needed. What about that entire year after my mother died when I cried alone every night and he turned his back on me. It was never about what I needed or wanted, I did for them, him and the kids and thought nothing of it. But because he said that I am back to blaming myself, inadequate as a woman, failure as a wife. He couldn't get it every single night like he wanted because I was exhausted from taking care of the kids. His needs were not fullfilled because they needed me more. So he throws away our marriage and our lives that we built together like it was all for nothing. He gave up all his rights to the kids, which is fine with me but still wrong. Now I'm meeting with lawyers because he is talking about filing bankrupt on his debt and I don't want any part in that. He hates that he doesn't have money, and I'm sure his girlfriend isn't please with that either, but wtf, I hate that my kids don't have a father and not for nothing, I really don't have money either. I have the house he never finished remodeling. But thats about it. Now she is putting ideas in his head and he is starting to make demands and I am alone too face up against him. Alone to try and protect my babies who are only 3 and 1 from all of this. I can't sleep, to sick to my stomach to eat and he is sharring his bed with someone, enjoying the company of adult, partying ever night, and I am raising his our kids by myself and taking on all the responsibilty alone. Where is the fairness in that. Why does he get to gave it so good, when what he did was so bad? Everyone keeps saying he'll get his, well guess what, he is getting it, and he's liking it.
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