Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
We have been going back and forth for a month and a half, ever since he filed for custody. He hasn't seen the kids for a month by the way. One day he's nice and friendly and the next a cold hearted bastard. One day he asks to get along, the next he is doing the next crappy thing.
We haven't talked for about a month, but I decided to call this morning and ask for the CS that he said he would pay (we agreed to do it outside of court) He cut $500 off the price we agreed upon. I'm moving forward with getting CS through the county now, but I don't want to.
Anyway, I guess my question is, how do I stop myself from getting so angry everytime he doesn't do something he said he would or does something he said he wouldn't?
I am so hurt by all of the nastiness that has gone on between us. Not too long ago he was my best friend. Everyday is a battle to not call and rip him a new one for all the promises he's broken, lies he's told, mean things he's said and horrible things he's done. I mean he doesn't care so it's really pointless to call, but why do I still think he's gonna snap out of it and say "OMG, you're right, I AM a dickhead." How do I stop being so angry at him and move on?
We haven't talked for about a month, but I decided to call this morning and ask for the CS that he said he would pay (we agreed to do it outside of court) He cut $500 off the price we agreed upon. I'm moving forward with getting CS through the county now, but I don't want to.
Anyway, I guess my question is, how do I stop myself from getting so angry everytime he doesn't do something he said he would or does something he said he wouldn't?
I am so hurt by all of the nastiness that has gone on between us. Not too long ago he was my best friend. Everyday is a battle to not call and rip him a new one for all the promises he's broken, lies he's told, mean things he's said and horrible things he's done. I mean he doesn't care so it's really pointless to call, but why do I still think he's gonna snap out of it and say "OMG, you're right, I AM a dickhead." How do I stop being so angry at him and move on?
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It is a negative state of mind, such as resentment, fear, envy, and jealousy. Remember when he makes you angry he has made you lose it and he has taken something else from you. Expect disappointment on his promises, that is the history he's shown. Be aware of your angry thoughts, but don't let him cause them to show. Be aloof and distance with him, he won't know how to act if you 'are' cool.
ShocknAwe,
I have discovered that the only way I can get my stbx from being short, cool, and uncompliant is to be that way with him first. DO NOT give him the benefit of the doubt. It works everytime. Good Luck.