Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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deleted_user 11/15/2007

i had a minor meltdown today after work . I talked to my mom on the phone briefly and she said I love you to me and i hung up and i cried. i hate what my stbx is doing to me . he is concerned about gas prices (in re:to p/u and drop off of children) if i move a lousy f'n 20-30 minutes away with my mom in another town. i am appauled and i want to go home there more than ever. if i stay here in any ol apartment or in the house, whereever, he will want joint 50/50 custody. my attorney said not to agree to that. any experiences with it? Anyway i do want to go home more than ever. i will have my family , and make new friends and be closer to my best friend.

any input?

deleted_user 11/15/2007

I would discuss with my attorney, Can you argue that you want to move closer to home for emotional/child care support from family & friend. Healthier for you and the children. I will be praying for you!

deleted_user 11/15/2007

I say move closer to you mom so you will have some support system. He cn take care of himself!

deleted_user 11/15/2007

Hmmm I can chop him off at the knees for free.

deleted_user 11/15/2007

I'm sorrow I'll come up woth a better answere

deleted_user 11/15/2007

I agree with cjam. Talk to the att.

deleted_user 11/15/2007

you know screw him, gas money and driving a little further, tough crap, and just because he wants 50/50 does not mean he's going to get it. honey, pack your things up, don't tell him, and when your all settled at your mothers let him know where you are and where he can come and see the kids. screw him, go home. what freaking right does he have to tell you where to live. he's trying to do everything to convenience himself. if he's that concerned over the gas money, 1/2 time you drive them and pick them up. what a whiner.

deleted_user 11/15/2007

MOVE HOME, or closer to home. He is controlling you and what you can and cannot do because of HIM!!! HE is worried about gas prices and a little further to drive...BIG shit!!!! It is not about the kids, it's about HIM!!! Take back YOUR life and take care of YOU now. I don't know your story, but it is ALL about you and your happiness now!!!
DON"T LET HIM CONTROL THAT TOO!! HUGS!!!!

deleted_user 11/15/2007

Before you deny a 50/50 custody, remember this one important thing; every decision effects your children, you MUST consider them FIRST AND FOREMOST. Their father is still their father, their mother is still their mother. I know first hand that you don't want him to have anything because of how you feel about him, trust me, I've been there. But whatever you deny him, you are denying the children too. Don't let you feelings for him affect your children. PLEASE think of how your descisions will affect them. (please)

deleted_user 11/15/2007

I'm not sure it's legal to take off with the kids. Check it out first.

deleted_user 11/15/2007

I understand you are upset but you have to know that fathers have rights also. Why is it women think they can just ussume to have custody of the children? Try to look at his side, is he involved with the kids now? If so, how would he feel if he has to be a weekend dad? What about his family and visiting them?

I'm going to go alittle further and say most people on this board are very judgemental. They hear one side of a story and beat up the STBX without knowing the whole story.
Have an open mind people and stop feeding into others pain by your comments. Divorce is a very hard time as it is.

deleted_user 11/15/2007

There is nothing wrong with being judgmental, the 60s notwithstanding.

Our job on this board is to help the person here get through the night, not to consider the Xs side of the story.

deleted_user 11/15/2007

And add to the writers anguish, nice.

deleted_user 11/15/2007

I think if you look at what you wrote, you will see that it is you who have added to her anguish by your remarks. I also think if you had read many of her threads, you would not be so anxious to give her husband the benefit of the doubt.

Che2 11/15/2007

A 20-30 minute away move is not something that he should be able to stop. You might have to take the brunt of the back and forth driving.

Listen to your Lawyer. Yopur ex cannot "order" you to stay in that town and live a financially unstable life when you have family that you can go to and they are ONLY 20 MINUTES AWAY..

If this was a conversation about another state..thats one thing.

My guess is that this is all about you doing what he tells you to do. Those days are about to be legally over.

deleted_user 11/15/2007

I agree that the children need to come first. I tried to make that move, up to 400 miles away. When I got there, I panicked, it was no longer home. I knew if I was scared, how would my 8 year old son feel. So I came back to the same town where my x is. My son later thanked me for that. That was all I needed.
Good luck

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