My story starts at 16yrs. old when i married my "H" we've been married for 15yrs. , i just turned 32, the first 11yrs. of marriage were great, until problems starting arising at my twelfth year of marriage. i have left this marriage three times already in the past 4yrs. but the longest i've been gone is for a month. it always seems i can't get past the idea that leaving my "H" is totally devastating to him, and the guilt takes over me, and i end up coming back, my parents supported me at first this last time, but ended up not understanding me after all, this last time was so bad that i tried suicide, ended up in the hospital, felt like a loser, and felt like i had no choice but to go back again. now, i'm back again and i just live for the heck of it, because i feel, i have lost this battle against myself, i gave in, now i picture my life........old, depressed, and maybe losing the true love of my life. in a way i feel i deserve it, and i feel i married my "H" i made vows to god and to him. He's been a good husband for the most part, i've forgiven him for stuff he did in the past. now i feel, that this is where i have to be, because i'm married, but deep in my heart i know it's not where i want to be. i've stopped living my life.
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