Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
This morning when I got to the real estate office three minor events triggered in me an overwhelming surge of emotional pain. I thought that I could handle it so I reached into my reserves of strength and found none. The tank was empty. I was shocked. Just then, my stbx called me on another matter and she sensed that something was wrong and she asked if I was going to end it. I realized that indeed, that was what it felt like I should do. Very upset, unable to stop crying, I left the office and went home early and closed the garage door, leaving the engine running. I put the windows down and put on Pink Floyd's 'Wish You Were Here' for the long slow guitar solo that is Shine On You Crazy Diamond. I drive a black 2006 Jaguar X Type and the sound system is exceptional.
As I contemplated the chemistry (carbon monoxide is preferentially taken up by haemoglobin, rather than oxygen) I breathed deeply wishing for the sleep and then the light. I happened to open my eyes and glance down at the passenger seat and there, smiling up at me, was my son's face, froma photograph that I had taken when he was three.
His face filled my void, and it came to me that I could not betray him, I could not steal from him the father that he loved, and who loved him so.
I turned the engine off and opened the garage door.
My son saved my life today.
A bit later, as I sat in silence in the condo, a colleague from work called, concerned. She heard not my words but my voice and soon a woman who I had helped through some of her very bad times, but had never met, called.
She insisted that we meet and so I went out tonight and met her.
We talked for a while. Her story is that just after she saw her husband walking with his girlfriend - this while they were still married and sleeping in the same bed - she was diagnosed with fast-moving breast cancer. She beat that, and she threw her ex out, and started to heal, and I was part of her process.
But she told me something that makes for me so much sense. I had said that I had emailed my stbx that she was losing one of the best friends that she had ever had. Roz told me that in fact, the reverse was the case, I was grieving over the death of my best friend in the whole world.
With that perspective, I now know, and with my son as my oxygen cylinder in this sea of pain, that I will never leave the engine running again.
As I contemplated the chemistry (carbon monoxide is preferentially taken up by haemoglobin, rather than oxygen) I breathed deeply wishing for the sleep and then the light. I happened to open my eyes and glance down at the passenger seat and there, smiling up at me, was my son's face, froma photograph that I had taken when he was three.
His face filled my void, and it came to me that I could not betray him, I could not steal from him the father that he loved, and who loved him so.
I turned the engine off and opened the garage door.
My son saved my life today.
A bit later, as I sat in silence in the condo, a colleague from work called, concerned. She heard not my words but my voice and soon a woman who I had helped through some of her very bad times, but had never met, called.
She insisted that we meet and so I went out tonight and met her.
We talked for a while. Her story is that just after she saw her husband walking with his girlfriend - this while they were still married and sleeping in the same bed - she was diagnosed with fast-moving breast cancer. She beat that, and she threw her ex out, and started to heal, and I was part of her process.
But she told me something that makes for me so much sense. I had said that I had emailed my stbx that she was losing one of the best friends that she had ever had. Roz told me that in fact, the reverse was the case, I was grieving over the death of my best friend in the whole world.
With that perspective, I now know, and with my son as my oxygen cylinder in this sea of pain, that I will never leave the engine running again.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Then I thought of what that would teach my kids and stoped. Now months later, I am so glad I did not. Thank God I did not.
I read once that a study done of suicide attemps, everyone said at the last minute, they did not want to die. People who jumped off bridges felt as they were going down "wait, I made a mistake, I want to live!" Sounds strange, but that has really helped me.
Bravo to you! You turned off the engine! You just write us anytime it becomes to much, we are here for you!
I said if I were out of the way he could be with the families (long story, he is with SIL's aunt) and they could all be happy, but my family stood by me. Now I can't end it because of them. They have been through too much already. We have had two deaths of the matriarchs of the family in the last six months, and SIL's last night. I couldn't add to that.
I am glad that your son's picture was there. What a coincidence! There just has to be better days ahead for us all.
I know we are just online here, but it seems like family, doesn't it? I would be so sad to lose your spirit here.
Take care.
I really thought that when stbx finally came to the divorce point, I would just kill myself and be done with things. In my mind it was fairly set. I didn't think that I had it "in me" to start a new life.
I believe that he was banking on this. I think that he is in total shock right now that he is really going to be paying alimony to a living person.
Our circumstances are different, but sorrow and pain still produce fear and dispare.
Surviving by Choice brings strength. You may be tired, but today you just became so much stronger.
(((Hugs)))
Tonight I got a nasty note from my STBX, I won't go into detail, but lets say it hurt bad. I can't fix it, I can't make it right, I want to get mean, but that's not me. I took a pill to calm down and then emailed her back to explain some of what I was feeling in response to her note. I was nice, straight to the point and I hope she got the point. We all need each other here and I'm glad to see this post because not to many lately have helped me at all, this one has and thank GOD you made the choice you did and turned it off.
2. I think you need to seek Professional help. Not trying to tell you what to do but it sounds like you need it. Your going through some hard times man. Maybe something to think about.
3. heres something that will put a smile on your face...if your into car witch it seems like you are. I'll take you in my 2002 firebird. hehehe want to race sometime?
No but really, its hard man thats why were all here to try to help one another. but you got to help yourself first. ya know. take care of yourself. I dont know ya but no one wants to see another take there life.
I was suicidal earlier this month and the amount of support I received from family and friends was great. They didn't judge me, just talked with me.
I hope we can all find the peace we are looking for.
I wish all the best for you and I'm glad that you're still here.