last tuesday, i was very depressed about the whole situation, i feel that i took a huge step all of the sudden, all though i had been planning the move for some time now, and i was feeling strong about it, but tuesday was so overwhelming, i found myself totally alone, in a dark lonely apartment, i had been crying all day, hadn't had anything to eat and drink, so i couldn't bare with the pain, and i was terrified to ask for help from my parents, not knowing how they would take it. so i went and overdosed on xanax and vicodin, i ended up in the ER, had to be admitted, almost to the ccu, but didn't get to that point. i was admitted to dou, a step near to ccu, had to be on observation, with a sitter at the bedside all the time, had to be evaluated before they could release me. so now, i have realized maybe i should have taken baby steps. should have been upfront with my parents about the whole situation, i totally got a different response from them, regarding the whole scenario. they want me to come an live with them instead they say, i can't be alone now, so i've been staying at their place, and somehow, i feel better knowing that they are willing to help me get thru this depression, and separation, i will see my doctor tommorrow, go to counseling, take the girls to counseling, and the one and most important thing, i need to feed my soul with gods love, somehow i feel i forgot how good he is to us, and i feel and empty void in my soul. so i feel it's god calling me to reach out in full to him.
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