I'm having such a hard time believing he's leaving me. I keep thinking I'm having a bad dream and that I'll wake up and everything will be back to where it was before the nightmare started. I know this isn't going to happen. What did I do for him to stop loving me? I still love him so much! I thought we were going to grow old together. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself now. I don't want to live with my son and daughter in law. I don't want all those cats they brought with them! I feel lost, lonely and that I no longer have any control in my life. Although he's been controlling everything for so long, I feel like he's still controlling me. I had no choice in this. He made this decision without consulting me. Right now I just want to die so I don't have to feel the pain anymore. Last night I had a dangerously low blood sugar. I could have just simply done nothing and I would have gone into a coma and I'd be done with it all. I know I was close to one as I could see things going black before my eyes. The stress of this is wreaking havic on my health. I want him out of the house, and at the same time, I dread when he goes. I yell at him and then cry and I'm civil, almost friends with him. I so need someone to tell me that what I'm feeling is normal and that I'm not going crazy. I so need someone to hold me while I cry. I so need someone to tell me I'm a worthwhile person. I so want this to be over with.
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