Well it's been just over 4 months since he's been gone. I know I've lost him and he's not coming home. I so need help, but I cancel my counselling appointment every time coz I just can't talk about it. I've promised myself I'll go to the next one. He wants to be friends and help us, which he has been. He has been paying the mortgage for us, and gives us extra when needed. He's a great dad, and likes to come inside and have a chat with me. But I just text and text and text him. Really nasty ones, then pleading ones, and sorry ones, and on and on it goes. I even turned up at his place twice and checked all the rooms knowing someone was in there and hiding. Today he told me he's not coming over coz he's scared of me, and he wants to move and not let me know where at all, so I don't turn up and do stupid things. I can't let go, I just can't. When I think I'm getting better, it just all goes all over the place. I just want him back. He's a good man and was a good husband and dad. I know my bipolar had alot to do with him leaving, and probably has alot to do with how I'm acting now, but I love him, and it just hurts so much. I want my family back. I so want to hug him, and him to hold me. I feel like I'm just dying slowly. I can't let go. I can't. What will happen when I see him with someone else. I don't know what I'll do...Help..
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