
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Reading through the "I wont miss...." thread and some of the other posts, I see a pattern - the dumped partners frequently talk about being made to feel they have mental issues or do suffer from depression...the in-laws are usually interfering or controlling and dont get on with the dumped partner, the dumper frequently blames the dumped for everything....the dumped is craving for physical and emotional affection which has been lacking for a long time etc etc.
On the depression front - I wonder if many of us suffer from worse depression because of years of emotional abuse and dysfunctional partners who make us feel like the dysfunctional one. I know I only started taking anti=depressants the year I got married...and started drinking heavily a few years and tears later.
On the depression front - I wonder if many of us suffer from worse depression because of years of emotional abuse and dysfunctional partners who make us feel like the dysfunctional one. I know I only started taking anti=depressants the year I got married...and started drinking heavily a few years and tears later.
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People are fickle.
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For years I was isolated emotionally...The only one who DIDN'T think that I was Nuts was my Shrink. She wanted me to get the Hell out while I was still alive.
Well, from the responses I received, and details given, YES. It IS a Pattern. IT IS a Very Close Pattern. You could almost lay us all on top of each other and See the Sameness of what went on.
I kept a Psychiatrist for 7 years. I saw her once a year, so that stbx could NOT have me put on a "hold".
He destroyed our Diningroom, shattered glass, broke chairs...then left. I tried to get help. I called our HMO-I had alread dealt with police, no help. I hoped that the HMO, knowing his Diabetes and Temper would HELP ME. They misunderstood and sent the police.
With my Pastor in my house and friends...I got hauled to a psych ward for a 72 hour hold. Everyone tried to tell the cops that I HADN'T Done what they were seeing...it was Him. I was trying to get intervention for HIM.
I was released two days later when a Dr. finally showed up. I was told that a Law Suit was appropriate-I was taken out illegally since I had a Counselor present (my pastor).
So, I kept a Psychiatrist on Speed Dial from that time forward to Vouch for my Sanity. I lived in Fear, not only of my stbx-but also of the police.
Now, I am FREE!!!
I believe that we are all responsible for our choices. The cheating/abuse/drinking/spending/ect problem is all theirs. But allowing ourselves to be isolated (except in extreme sit.) is our choice. And why if nothing we say can make them stop, why does something that they say make us stop reaching out?
How long did it take to see this transperancy of pattern ?
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A good book about this is The Script.