Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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I need your strength

deleted_user
deleted_user
I am feeling like a wounded bird this monring without my wings. My husband moves out Saturday and I know it is agood thing, but I am so angry and sad at the same time. My anxiety is through the roof. We got into an argument about money last night. I told him his credit card bills are there and they need written out. I asked if his direct deposit will be going into my account this Friday and he said yes. So I said I would write out his bills if he leaves it there. He said he needs it all this week. So I AM NOT writing out his bills. So I asked well then when does my child support start? He said with his next paycheck. Well that is messed up that means that I have to wait 2 weeks before I get a penny? Then I told him he has to pay me 1/2 for all the expenses for the month of November well that pissed him off. He feels as if I am a money hungry bit@@. I am not I just want what is mine. He has himself to worry about and I have my girls and myself. He told me not to but the kids anything for Christmas because they don't need anything. I feel that is so selfish and inconsiderate to say especially their own father. I need to know what to do to calm myself down and what to do to handle this. I know some of you are already past this stage and know the best course of action. Please help!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yeah money hungry bitch-heard that about a hundred times-Stay stron-stay MAD-I was more vulnurable when I was sad-Good luck-you will be oaky.
ChiTownBear
ChiTownBear
Money is always a stinger in the end of a relationship. Truthfully, you should get a mediator or something as quick as possible to get the pay out to you settled as quick as you can.

trying to work out financial matters with other emotions mixed in at this time, is going to make you look like that to him, and him look like that to you. He should already know he has to pony up some money for HIS family! But I dont think he is going to be that easy about it for some reason.
deleted_user
deleted_user
He does not want o get a lawyer involved or anything. This is supposed to be a "trial" seperation and I am trying to be as cordial as possible.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Tammi, my advice to you is to hire an attorney. Otherwise you're going to be stuck with some bills that you maybe shouldn't be. The CC companies don't care how they get their money...just that they get it...whether you ran the card up or not.

As for Christmas, he sounds like a selfish jerk. You may not be able to spend what you normally would for Christmas...try looking for some online coupons and deals...but they should still have Christmas!
deleted_user
deleted_user
If he doesn't want a lawyer then he needs to pay up, afterall they are his children too. You can't make it on nothing....but maybe there are places you can go to to get some help with food, rent, etc....???? Good Luck
deleted_user
deleted_user
And to add about the child support. The bills and the kids expenses have to paid immediately...there is no "grace period" while I wait to get a CS check. It's Nov. 20th and I have yet to get a dime in CS for this month because x gets paid on the 15th and the 30th of each month...so those are the days that he pays CS. Nice, huh? I usually get the first check around the 22nd of the month and the second check around the 8th of the FOLLOWING month. My attorney says that technically support is supposed to be paid on the first of the month but CSE told me that this method of paying is allowed...and he's not considered delinquent unless he's over 30 days behind.
deleted_user
deleted_user
He doesn't want a lawyer because he knows he will have to pay, My ex said the same thing and I regret waiting . If he can afford go drinking he can afford to pay HIS bills. No Christmas gifts for the kids?? What a selfish A$$!
deleted_user
deleted_user
He is taking over all the credit card bills, my name is not on any of them. He is paying the cell bill. I am paying the HUGE mortgage, all utilities, food, insurance, etc... I am looking for a part time job now. He told me the house is mine. He wants no $$ out of it, but I don't want to sell it. That is the safety zone for me and my girls. I will give it the new year and see where he stands as far as giving me $. If he is not doing right by me I think I can even make him pay 1/2 the mortgage. I don't want to do that though, I want to be able to do it on my OWN.
keepthehope
keepthehope
I feel your struggle as I am going through the same thing. As much as my wife's behavoir and attitude changed I still hurt. I feel I am growing but it still hurts. Today driving to work I just felt lost. She will never know what I truly felt for her and maybe that is why I hurt so much. Knowing that I cared deeply for this woman to have her just turn on all of that. The ones the hurt the most are the ones that love the most. I know I was not perfect in this marriage no one really ever is, except what she thought she was. After all that was said and done I was willing to look past that and try to save us, but there is no us if I was the only one. I feel for you Tami I do. You will get through this as we all must do. Our kids need us more then ever we have to move forward for them. I know it its hard but look into thier faces and know you will be there for them all their lives. They have to believe that the love of a parent will not fade as the love we had fade on us.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Are you a stay at home mom?
deleted_user
deleted_user
No I work 40+ hours a week. And I am looking for a part time job for 20 hours or so a week.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know from experience that it can all go to hell overnight. I would get an attorney if only to help protect you and the children. I know what it's like to have an ex completely disregard the best interest of the children and only think of themselves.
verbra
verbra
Tammi get yourself an attorney rigth away. Don't play games with your husband. Why should you and your kids suffer while he is making up his mind. I know it hurts deeply and believe me it does get better but you must protect you and the kids first. Stay strong we are here for you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Getting an attorney doesn't mean divorce. Just see whether you could be a better deal re: house with an emergency order for maintenance. You shouldn't have to worry about the child support either. It would be more ideal if you could spend that 20 hrs with your girls, if possible.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Even if you don't get an attorney, you can file for child support without filing for divorce. If you do that, at least you will no longer have to fight for your money. It helped me a lot.
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