Well I got home from work yesterday and my husband was there. Everything was fine with us. We cuddles on the couch and oops I had sex with him. I looked at it as me making him my booty call. I noticed that he is wearing his wedding ring again. So the evening was going well and he wanted to order from the local pizza shop to get dinner for the girls and I. Well my oldest can't eat a whole sub and neither can I. So her and I were discussing what kind of sub we were goint to share and we were not agreeing. But we were talking it out. Nect thing I know my husband flipped out on her over fucking food. She stomped out of the room and said fine I will starve. Now my daughter is a whole whopping 85 pounds and is 5'1". So she can't starve. Anyway I went back to her room and talked to her and we got everyting worked out. So the evenning continued everything was going fine or so I thought. And I asked my husband if he was going back to his apartment or spending the night. He kept on going back and forth on it. All of a sudden he jumped up and said I am out of here. It was so abrupt and confusing. So he left and I called him I was like WTF was that about and he said he would call me back when he gets home. Well I couldn't wait. So I called him again. He started screaming at me and crying all at the same time. He said I bring out all the emotional crap in him and I am a constant reminder that he is a fuck up. He said that when he is around me and the girls he feels constant sadness because we are a reminder of his failures. He said he is tired of me telling him to take his medication and he doesn't like it so he is not taking it anymore. I told him I only do that because I care and because he came to ME for help and that was what I was doing offering the help that HE asked for. I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. I need to stop trying to save him and worry about only me and my girls, but I am not hardwired to do that. I am a healer. I need to back off and stay away. I don't call him, he calls me, I don't go to him, he calls me to come to him. I am so confused because I know I deserve better, but I can't stop myself from trying to make him the man I want him to be. Also he stopped taking his medication he told me and has not seeked a therapist.
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