Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Yesterday my husband and I had this great talk, about our feelings, forgiveness, moving forward for our kids sake. We huged and kissed good bye, it was wonderful. He moved out about 10 days ago so that there would be no fighting in front of our kids.
We have had a REALLY hard time for about 1 year, been togehter for over 20 years.
He was coming by to pick up our youngest to sleep over with him and since he had an apppintment with his therapist late, I told him he could have dinner with us before going to his place. Just shows up cold as a duck to me. Nice to the kids, not mean to me, just very distant and COLD. I asked how his session went, he said fine, that he MAY want to work things out. Just acting very un into me. I really do not under stand how we had this GREAT talk yesterday, he says he loves how kind I have been to him for the last week, then just shows up cold. WTF!!! What the hell is his therapist telling him? How can he feel good playing with my emotions this way??! I've told him before, love me or leave me. But he just switches back & forth for no reason I can see or understand. I fell like he's fu**king with my head and heart and my family's future. Dam it!!! He left, said good bye like I was a stranger and I'm left heart broken!!! What the hell do I do?????
We have had a REALLY hard time for about 1 year, been togehter for over 20 years.
He was coming by to pick up our youngest to sleep over with him and since he had an apppintment with his therapist late, I told him he could have dinner with us before going to his place. Just shows up cold as a duck to me. Nice to the kids, not mean to me, just very distant and COLD. I asked how his session went, he said fine, that he MAY want to work things out. Just acting very un into me. I really do not under stand how we had this GREAT talk yesterday, he says he loves how kind I have been to him for the last week, then just shows up cold. WTF!!! What the hell is his therapist telling him? How can he feel good playing with my emotions this way??! I've told him before, love me or leave me. But he just switches back & forth for no reason I can see or understand. I fell like he's fu**king with my head and heart and my family's future. Dam it!!! He left, said good bye like I was a stranger and I'm left heart broken!!! What the hell do I do?????
deleted_user
maybe the therapist said something he didn't want to hear!
deleted_user
Ask him what's up with that. I think he is an incredible arsehole to do this to you after dragging you thousands of miles from home.
keepthehope
Therpasit try to get people to see the whole picture. They dont do it with the intent to screw with other people at least I hope not. I get the distance feeling from your spouse. You see them in front of you but its not like its them anymore. Its all different. I know you feel it. Things will never be the same as they were before. They could be better but it only works with two. I hope it is just the feelings of uncertainity of himself and his future that he struggles with. If it is he needs time as well as you. I know it hurts but hang in there, we are all here for you
deleted_user
perhaps he was just thinking about what went on in therapy. perhaps it has nothing at all to do with you. he could have just been very deep in thought, looking at himself. and it was very nice of you to invite him to dinner. maybe his own feelings are fu**king with his own head. take a breath. relax.
deleted_user
There's not a whole lot you can do. My STBX would act the same way after seeing her best friend, so I've learned to expect her to be cold after talking with her. I also learned after 4 months that her therapist helps patients achieve their goals - in other words, if STBX wants to fix us, the therapist works toward that but if she doesn't, the therapist encourages her to leave. Finding that out explained a lot. The other thing I saw that was similar to your situation is that STBX would have a good conversation (like yours) and then go analyze it and decide I was controlling her by trying to fix our relationship & come back cold for days. I can't explain what's happening inside our STBX's but watching their external influences (friends, therapists) helped me predict and prepare for the coldness.
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