Boy, I am making progress. I use to make excuses for myself and actions. I tell you what, when my new mate comes along he is going to have one heck of a women! I am learning from my mistakes.

Be patient with me, God is not through with me yet!

I hate it too.
But I am determined to live in order.
I look at a room, give myself a rough estimate of how long I can give it and set a timer.
It's amazing what you can get done when the clock is ticking.

I love housework, I clean constantly. Its the cooking I can't stand I will do everything to avoid cooking a meal. Take out is my best friend!

Cleaning is something that should be done regularly.....as in daily. That way it wont build up IMHO. Now I agree about the cooking. If I dont wash everything as soon as I'm done eating....I will procrastinate. But other than that...I clean and dust everything else. Goodluck with the cleaning and make sure to think good things while doing it. I usually do that and it makes things go by quicker and I end up cleaning better than what I intended lol

Cleaning makes me happy - don't feel like I can rest or think when things are lying around. Kids make it hard. My question to them when i walk in their rooms or bathroom, "Excuse me?! When is it ok to hang things on the floor?! Oh, yeah - never!"

I see a pattern and I have a solution!

I will cook for you if you clean for me.
Deal?

Sara, you have a deal! I am the queen of the frozen meal these days :-P I just do not have the heart or motivation and I know my kids feel more loved with home cooked meals. I just don't like to dust, ok? Makes me sneeze!

No one will ever confuse me with a neat freak. I'm more
the "cluttered order" type.

Stbx was a f*ing pig.

I got messier the longer I was with him. I've put many hours into getting this house back in order. It's looking pretty good. I still won't be confused with a neat freak, though.

it is good to feel good about yourself and i really don't know how it is to be a woman, but we all have faults. you are being positive, but you seem to be allowing your ex to have this radiating effect on you in your continued way of living. yes, we all have things we can improve, but to improve things based on an individual's excuse why they left or an issue they had while together. individuality is important and so is not completely losing self in a goal of finding that perfect person. if changes are made, make them for you, not in the hopes of being a heck of a person to a new person. compromise, not loss of soul is what all should be looking for. the deal breaker with the marriage i left, we were not a team - i need to feel part of a team. be happy, change for you, but don't lose you.

My stbx was a neat freak, but not a CLEAN freak. The difference - he couldn't stand shoes anywhere but in a closet. I couldn't stand animal feces in my kitchen sink or urine on my bathroom floor...

Rig, thanks for your response. You are right I find my self doing some thing to impress him. Like telling the kids, Hurry and clean up dads on his way. Forget that mess.

I am however, seeing things different and I need to through away some things and have the kids do their part!

I am definitely not as into cleaning as I was when I was married... we had a much bigger house, and a place for everything, so it was much easier...

Now, the mail piles up in the dining room (no office anymore), the guest room is also my craft room, and overflowing with material and yarn. I clean once a week (usually on Friday/Saturday) unless there's some special reason to change the routine...

My 4 food groups now consist of frozen, canned, takeout or leftovers... What's wrong with that???

I hardly ever iron... last time my X was home, d came down stairs in a t-shirt, and he had a fit because it wasn't ironed (she always wears hoodies over them)... I told him "we don't iron anything in this house"... he used to iron his underwear... probably still does, I wouldn't know!!!

Man I don't miss that anal retentive attitude!!!

They do say it's the little things that often tear apart a marriage. Kudos to you for making strides in this area. Just remember something that the key is not extremes, but moderation in all around you. Perhaps your ex has some deep-rooted issues that go beyond cleaniliness and into the realm of obsessive compulsive disorders.....just food for thought.

I love to cook, I do not like to clean. I always wished I had married a cooker or a cleaner, but he dose niether. He has tried to cook, he's just really bad at it. Ruined a pot of mine once boiling water.lol
My house is not dirty, but it not tidy. My son loves to build things out of funiture, etc..sometime it stay for a couple of days. Oh well...at least he is having fun.
I really should teach my son to cook, every woman loves a man who can cook. :-)

Hey devonr, you have an iron? I probably should look into getting one of those. What are you supposed to do with it?

Ok, I'm with whoever said I'll cook and you can clean. I miss having someone to cook for. I'm not filthy either, but I just really hate the dusting and mopping. I don't like clutter and dirt. But you know, if it's a nice even layer of dust, you almost can't tell. Okay, well, perhaps that's something I need to work on.

What shall I make for dinner? I'll cook while you clean.