Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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I need strength

deleted_user
deleted_user
I haven't been on much bc I thought we were trying to work it out and also I never know what to say to other posters since I was in a weird limbo place. Well my H started using again 3 days ago. He told me tonight he wants nothing to do with me ever again (probably the drugs talking bc this is his pattern when he's using). I told him that's not possible unless he plans on signing his rights away. He text back "I'll sign rights away."......
I KNOW that has to be the drugs talking and his severe depression, but that has to be the last straw. It has to be. How dare he. What kills me is that I know when he sobers up again in a week or a month he will want to work things out. I love him and I can't stand to see him hurting. I can't stand to know that if I refuse, I will be adding to his deep pain. It breaks my heart to think that I will have to tell him no and break his heart. But I can't keep doing this and it's not fair to my child. But how do I do it? How do I tell him no when he's broken in front of me and is hurting and wants to make it better? how do you do that when you still love someone?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thats a hard situation its hard to do something like that when you love someone so much, what are your other options has he tried going to rehab or committing himself somewhere?, your right though about your child its def not fair or a good environment but i understand not wanting to give up on him, people seem to through the towel in too soon now a days family isnt irreplaceable , i know im not much help but i wish you luck !
deleted_user
deleted_user
If not for you, then for your child- seek any and all help and support possible to not go back. I know that sounds hard, and it may even sound mean, but you cannot keep going down this path- clearly it is hurtful and destructive. If he truly does get clean- and you can prove that by seeing him go through a full rehab program- then you may consider getting back together with him. Until that time, please take care of yourself and your little one as a priority.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Love yourself 1st. Sometimes the best we can do for a person is leave them. Break the pattern. He will be forced to face what has happened and at that point he has a chose; work through it for himself. overcome and become a master of himself. Out of love you let him go. You're work will begin once he leaves. Let go of choas and start to live.
OLDBIKER
OLDBIKER
I am sorry your husband went back to using but, this is a pattern that I have seen, over and over again. You may love him but, you can't enable him to destroy himself and also have an adverse affect on your child. From an ex drug user, the desire and the determination to quit, must come from inside him. Nothing you do will stop him, even if it means losing his family. The drugs and the addiction are what dictates his life and actions. Until he decides to give them up, this pattern will cycle and cycle, over and over again. You must do what is best for you and your child. The ball is in his court. What he does with it is up to him. He must take responsibility for his actions or the lack thereof. My prayers are with you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My heart just hurts. so badly. For all of us involved. It's just really hard to imagine him not being my partner after 15 years.
Karenhopeful
Karenhopeful
I believe my STBX is an alcoholic. I am going to Al Anon which really has helped a lot.

I really encourage you to find something similar for relatives and friends who have been affected by someone else's drug addiction.

You will learn how to detach with love. How to step back and realise that his path is no longer your path. You will start to heal and you will move on.

Maybe he will one day hit rock bottom and get off the drugs, but as Oldbiker said you can't make him stop. It took me time to realise that I enabled my STBX drinking. You are an enabler. Please get help for yourself and a better life for you and your child.

We are always here for you.
hurtinandhealin2560
hurtinandhealin2560
You really need to go to Al Anon or another type of support group. They will help you recognize that this is a pattern he uses to keep you enabling him.

YOU cannot cure his addiction--only he can.

Think of your child. Do you want your child growing up watching all of this? Perhaps learning the wrong patterns of living? If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your child.

You both deserve better.
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