Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Alot of you know my background so I won't get to in depth with it. My husband and I are trial seperating which actually he physically moves out tomorrow morning. So last night we went togther to get the title to my car in my name and not his, he showed me his new place and then I wanted to go to happy hour. We went to happy hour had a good time I think we were there for about an hour or so. This morning husband calls me and said I really had a good time with you last night. It made me realize that I am still in love with you and he was pushing it away so I would hate him and make it easier on him. Well he told me I am not looking for your forgiveness, but I am apoligizing for all the bad I did to you and the girls. He said he wants his family in the end and he will get the help he needs. He said it will take time because he will make more mistakes along the way, but at least I won't be in the crossfire anymore. I told him I am giving him a time table to start the process of getting the help he needs. I will not share the timetable with him though. In my mind if he doesn't start to seek the help within 6 months than I have to file. I am not asking for a miracle just that he started seeking AA and counseling. That would be enough to show me he is not heading down the wrong road. I told him today when he said he realizes he is in love with me and I told him I couldn't say it back. I told him I love him and I always will, but I am not sure he is not what I want. This goes back to him getting the help he needs and deserves. I know it is not going to be flowers and rose petals and I am not looking for that. Just so you know my focus is still on ME and my daughters.
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I cannot explain what I've been feeling or even feel.. I dont even know what to say or even begin.. tonight I had an episode (which I haven't had in awhile) and I broke my streak and relapsed.. I self harmed which I hadn't done in a long time and I broke down.. I feel empty and emotions are all over the place.. I've been having to force myself out of bed to go to work.. I haven't been sleeping...
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I don't know why I do this. I want to have a genuine relationship yet somehow some voice inside me pushes me to go back to my bubble. I am starting a new chapter in my life where I got to meet new people and start building relationships. I was actually okay until something in me just alarmed saying " you are gonna be alone forever and this people don't actually like you." What is wrong with me? I...
A man and a woman who love each other,
The smile of a child,
Peace in the home;
A sermon without words,
But so wonderfully convincing.
One hour of an okay time does not make up for what he did to you and those girls.
be very very cautious.
He needs to get help today, not in 3 months, 6 months.
I grew up with someone who was bipolar.
Part of the cycle was that he'd be a nice normal man and then when the swing came he'd be a nightmare.
You can forgive him
Don't forget what he's done.
And doesn't it strike you as odd that you went to happy hour with a guy that needs to be in AA?
Someone that this week threatened to kill himself, pills in his mouth threatening to swallow?
Please be careful. Don't open yourself up to all of that again. You're making such good progress by getting him out.
If it is truly meant for you, and you want this, I wish you the best through this and he gets the help he needs for you and your daughters.
Major steps forward and you are taking care of you and your children.
I wish HIM all the very best in his journey and sincerely hope everything moves forward and to a healthy and renewed relationship.
I am sure it will be difficult days ahead, you sound like you are prepared for the worse and are strong enough to face what will come.
(((HUGS))).. for you and HIM..and the Kids.
Yes it does sound odd that I went to happy hour with him and had a beer considering he is an alcoholic, but I am not. I never looked at it that way. This goes way beyond the spectrum of AA he needs to get his bipolar and maniac depressive under control. I put a timetable on it for me and the girls. No matter how sick he is I love him, I don't think I am in love with him though. I gave myself that timetable not him. I don't want to ? myself in the years to come and wonder if I made the right decision. I will know within the 1st 2 months where we stand and what he plans to do with the choices he has to make. Help=family=love=stability
Or if he chooses the downward spiral and hits rock bottom and does not get the help than I can walk away and know I made the right decision. I am not dragging it out for me and I won't allow him to hurt me anymore. He commented to me yesterday that when he looked in my eyes all he saw was sadness and pity. Now he does not see any of that anymore. He sees a woman who became indepenedent over the past weeks.
I'm glad that the timetable is for yourself. I understand not wanting to question yourself later. I uprooted my life and kept fighting for my marriage long after I knew it was over.
Good luck to you and God bless.
I am afraid, like you, to give up too soon. My X was an alcoholic, and our marriage was miserable. After I left him, he changed. He got sober (10 years now) and he is a great dad, but it was too late for us. I had already stopped being in love with him.
I am afraid that if I turn my back too soon (on my H), I will miss out on the good that will come when he does fix his problems (depression). We were happy together once, and I know we could be happy again. I just have to keep reminding myself, like you do, that my needs are important and they must be met.
I have a time table too. But my worry is whether I can stick to it. : )
Anyway, we are all here if you need us. Thank you for sharing your stories...it helps to know we are not alone.