I'm working on finding myself as well. I'll watch for you if you will watch for me. It might be easier that way. finding myself has been difficult so far.

I so understand what you are saying.

we have all talked about this before also. you'll find yourself again, one day at a time. one baby step at a time. it's hard to be alone again. i miss the same things you do.

I know exactly what you mean!!! I told stbx several times that I didn't even know who I was anymore. He never did understand what I meant by that... and maybe he never will.. but I left almost 1 year ago and I'm gradually finding the old me. He has even commented on that... lol... but doesn't get that it's because I'm AWAY from him!!! lol... too funny

I so understand what you're saying. I'm trying to go back in my mind and figure out who I was 22 yrs ago, before I met my ex. I look at the profiles here and people have many hobbies. Wonder why I don't even have a hobby to fall back on. I'm trying to develope a list of things, so I can experience things and determine those that I enjoy.

I think some of us really do approach marriage with the idea that "the two shall become one". And, when the other person is gone, we don't know who we are as an individual.

My ex never became one with me, from his perspective, so he never lost his identity.

I have to move slowly and gently, so I'm trying to find others who are wanting to explore life with me. That way, I wont have to be alone in my self discovery, until I become comfortable knowing that it's ok for me to focus on just me.

althought I'm alone now, I'm finding it is not that bad. You can't miss what you didn't have, I begin to see exactly what she added to my life, not bashing her, just saying if there was a scale, I know which way it would tile.

Trust me when I say I understand. I too miss the conversation, the embrace.
For so long I gave and gave. Now I look around and it's almost like I'm being set free after almost ten years of imprisonment and brain washing to her ideals. A long road, yes. However, one well worth traveling.

yes, I miss those things too. miss the smell of his deoderant too (haha I know weird, but it smelled SO GOOD). *sigh*

yea thats y i have called a few on here it helps me cope cuz they know what im going through and it doesnt seem so technical and fake!!!!!!

keep looking, maybe you'll find her. I found me after I was able to turn around and stop looking back.

You should try to focus on you, so you can find yourself. If you were anything like me and gave your marriage your all, you did get lost in him, and put yourself aside. Unfortunatly I know now that was a mistake, you need to backtrack a bit, but not go backwards if that makes any sense.

don't like what i was before him-i grow up and have my kids-now i'm just looking for a differnt me one with out him

Angoni, I know exactly what you are feeling. Although my H is back home & we're trying to work on our marriage, I am still in limbo over all of this. I, too, put & gave EVERYTHING I had/have into this relationship, to the point to where now I am lost. I do not know "WHO" I am & sometimes don't know "WHAT" I want. It sucks to be in this state, but I guess that's a part of life. The best thing I can say is concentrate on YOU, YOUR needs, wants etc. YOU are the MOST IMPORTANT thing to YOU!~! "KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!~!"

Well, I feel like I'm in VERY good company, indeed. Now, if we could all just figure out who in the heck we are, we could formally introduce ourselves to each other. ;) wink!

Hang in there! Sooner or later we have to turn-up!

Count me in...I feel like the plane crashed and I'm the only survivor. I wander around my apartment at night looking for something familiar, some tiny shred of who I was or who I might be.