Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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I miss my old life immensely

deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm just thinking about how much I miss my old life. Since the divorce I've moved back to where I'm from (about 5 hours away) and miss my old life immensely. I'm thinking ahead to the summer...had so many good times and great memories that I don't want to let go. I still have a ton of my old friends who will welcome me but I wonder if it will be the same. I will undoubtedly run into my ex during some of these events. I'm a baseball player and I usually play in a bunch of tournaments that I will miss beyond all belief. I don't know if I should still go to these events that I love and see friends that I miss or remove myself completely from my old life.

I know it's ways away but I'm so confused on what to do and how to handle all this. I feel like life will never be the same and I'll never have that happiness back.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Life never will be the same...doesn't mean it won't be good again. Someone told me once I had to find a "new normal". Took awhile - but I did.....and you will too. I promise. You will make new memories and you will find a new normal - a new life. Look at it as an adventure.
deleted_user
deleted_user
If you think too far ahead in advnace it will only get you overwhelmed. Try instead taking it one day at a time. I think its a good idea to reconnect with old friends! I know its hard, but you have to look at this as an opportunity to find a new you. It will take time, but who knows..when summer comes around maybe you wont even care if you run into her!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I moved across the country from FL to MI.....I miss living in FL and all my friend from there terribly.....the past doesn't stop me from going to visit....I choose not to go where our house was....but I have no probelm going to visit my friends and former co-workers when I get a chance....I wish it wasn't across the country, but I did what I had to do.....
deleted_user
deleted_user
I used to say that all the time a few months ago.

Now I am looking forward to a better life (hopefully).
Once you get something new and positive in your life, I think it is easier to let go of the past.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You experienced a loss not only over a relationship, but a loss of life as you knew it. Time is the only thing that will heal this, as you will having new experiences and friendships that will begin defining your "new" life.

Don't start worrying and predicting things for the summer, it's months away!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
You experienced a loss not only over a relationship, but a loss of life as you knew it. Time is the only thing that will heal this, as you will having new experiences and friendships that will begin defining your "new" life.

Don't start worrying and predicting things for the summer, it's months away!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I just feel like not only have I lost my wife but I've lost my entire life as I knew it, which I sort of did. Makes this so overwhelming it's unreal. There were aspects of my old life I LOVED, don't know how I'll fill the void.
deleted_user
deleted_user
In time the void will begin healing itself. As you begin replacing old experiences with new ones. You won't be whole tomorrow morning, next week or next month. It's a process, and it's just now beginning.
deleted_user
deleted_user
maybe you are thinking too far ahead. if you persue what hurts you it will hurt you. if you think about it too much & how bad you,re going to feel then you will expect it to make you feel bad if that makes any sense?? i know what i mean anyway, by the time the chance comes to go back to a ball game or for whatever reason, you might feel alot different to how you do now & you just might enjoy it as just a visitor.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I wouldn't agree with removing yourself completely from your life that could have consequences you may not be aware of secondary to the emotion you are feeling right now. This is a process a very painful process, I wish it weren't true, but sometimes life throws curveballs.

This is change, it will never be the same even if you could go back, Keep your head up once the storm passes you will begin to see light on the Horizon, slowly as the emotions subside you'll find yourself once again. The key is not to loose yourself in the storm. Stay Strong, and look straight ahead at all times.
deleted_user
deleted_user
A situation like this gets at my 2 biggest weaknesses...number one I am impatient. I can't wait to feel better about things.

Number 2...I'm the typical Gemini. I was an athlete my whole life...toughness, competitive, etc.. But off the field I could possibly be the most sensitive emotional human being I know. This kills me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
"There were aspects of my old life I LOVED, don't know how I'll fill the void. "

Yes, exactly. I feel the same way.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I see two positive things in your last post, you listed two weaknesses, some people aren't aware of even that.

So, i believe your on the right path.

Goodluck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was the same way in the beginning I felt like my life was so unpredictable, I too like Michele said had to find a new normal. I too wanted to have that feeling right away, but I didn't, it took time lots of time. That's why really the one day a time is crucial. You have to go through all the grieving steps to feel comfortable enough to say I'm moving on. You will get there, in the mean time be good to yourself. Take care!
deleted_user
deleted_user
There were a lot of things my ex and I used to do that I never thought I'd be able to do again. We used to go to a lot of hockey games. I was convinced that I'd never be able to enjoy another one. Guess what? I was wrong. It took some time, but eventually I went back and enjoyed it.

We used to watch certain TV shows together. I never thought I'd be able to watch them again. But I did.

Hold on to the good memories, because they are a part of who you are. But, for your own benefit, move forward and continue to do the things that have always made you happy. In time, you'll make new memories and will be able to differentiate the old with the new.

Good luck.
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