Through all that has happened and all that I am coming to terms with, I just flat out miss her. We didnt have a blow out or anything we just disconnected and she just gave up and I did all that I could and knowing that it still doesnt make up for that void in my heart. I had to face whether or not it was just the feelings and concepts of being in love or the person. It was the person I was in love with. I will never understand how she could turn her back on love. I know I am a sappy fool but when you love someone and faced all your demons and questioned all that you believe you find something in yourself that is so real you just dont understand why it had to end. My wife may never know how much I truly loved her. It is sad that it all came to this point. As I face an unknown future I wonder if I could ever want to love someone that way again. I know feeling this way, hurt, rejected, betrayed and lonely that is all that I see is a cloudy future. I mourn the loss of a love of a woman who brought so much to me and then took so much away. It all seems so bittersweet. All of us in her struggle with the breakdown of a relationship and we all see each others pain and we all relate. There seems to be different stories associated with different break downs but in the end we all hurt the same. Through it all we still manage to struggle day to day and reach out for help in here and find comfort that we are not alone in our sorrow. I know the days seem longer, the nights are just as long, days drag on and weeks go by but you know what we get through it because it is life that keeps us going. It is that deep down drive, or survival instinct that is within each of us to go on. So in doing so I will go on, I will struggle and I will get through this life and what ever it brings me because I am a survivor as all of you are.

Thanks to you all