Sorry - this is really long - its been a tough weekend for me, so don't read it if you are just skimming through the topics here.

My stbx and I were married 2-1/2 years ago. We met 5 years ago yesterday, and every year, we have gone to the same restautant that we met at. And every year the stbx, would state to the wait staff how we met here, and every year at our anniversersy we come back here. Needless to say we didn't go this year, (we are still in the same household) nor was anything mentioned about this being the 5 year anniversery.

Well this year it didn't happen. Over the last 1-1/2 year there were small situations, and in the last 8 months we have had really significant problems, we were in theraphy for the last 6 months. We were committed to making it work. I have been married once when I was 20 for 7 years, I am now 52. When I married my stbx, he had been married 3 time before me (when I married him, I was told it was only twice before me and I found out about the 3rd marriage the day after I married him by evidence, not that he had told me.) Anyway about 2 or 3 weeks ago, he said he had enough, and he was moving out and stopping counselling. He rented a place 35 miles away and would move out in a month. I've tried to talk him out of it. The day after he told me he was moving out, he couldn't go into work, he spent the day home crying - if he wanted to leave what is that about?
SO I've tried to talk to him, he has issues of being hurt - I do too (there was no infidlity on either part.) I think he is going through a mid live crisis - financially he brought nothing to the marriage but his 401K - we are both 52), I have several investments and a couple of properties, which was NEVER an issue for me. He is saying, he has nothing!!! What was I and our future together? I thought we were something of meaning. He had always assumed he'd be working forever, but I had enough investment and with his 401K as extra, we could easily retire within about 6 years. Ne came to the marriage with nothing but some 401K. That was fine, I loved him and there was enough investments that I had to take both of us where I wanted to go in a few years. OK so now, we have had some problems, we have both inflected a lot of hurt on each other but nothing MAJOR, but now he wants his "own place". Well I can't help it, at 52, he's been through 3 marriages (before ours) so he's lost money at each one, never bought property on his own, rented, and now "he has nothing" according to him. I had thought our current life and our future was something - was everything, but obvious it was nothing. I just don't get it. I never loved someone to the extent I love him. He has always claimed he's never loved anyone the way he loved me. We were working on couseling which I thought was very slowly progressing when all of a sudden he says I'm done, I'm getting my own place.

I have loved him so deeply, and even though we have had problems, I know the underlying core is that I love him, and would do anything to work it out with him. He claims, and I believed him, that he loved me beyond anything possible. If that is truly the case, how is it possible that he just doesn't love me anymore. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???? Unfortunately we had to spend the weekend together closing up my lake home together - which I said he didn't have to to do, but we willingly offered to do. He has actually done more for me and around the house since he said he was leaving, than he ever did while we were married. And he acts as if everything is just great. Giving me all the little tibits of his life - "I have a 2nd job interview, I was here and there last week on his travel" (job related), NOW he wants to 'share' stuff - of course except feelings. How is it possible, is this that Mars and Venus thing, his emotions/feelings are just shut-off - like a switch, He can be cordial and helpful, even though there is so much pain being inflected on me? I though when I met him that he was so emotional, and yet today I said to him, 'you are like most guys, you don't have a clue about your feelings, and certainly can't express, identify or be truthful to what you feel." Sorry guys, I know that not all men are like this, really I do.... but then I would have never guessed, stbx was like this.
I'm just sense a mess. I really don't want this to be happening, but it is and I have to accept it. I know, this is probably 'lessons I need to learn in order to move on', but god I don't want this and it hurts so much.

Sorry guys,, but what is about you that you can't get past the ego and into your emotions? Actually I take that back, after some of the men I have read here on line..... what it is with a spounse, after they have promised to love you, work through anything,,, that they can just, turn it off and change directions. I know it's only been 2-1/2 years of marriage for us, how is it possible that people who have been together for many 15, 20, 25, 30, 35 years been together and then end. Actually some of the older marriage I understand because there is a long investment, but I'm sorry, isn't a commitment a commitment??? Unless of course there is abuse, physical, emotional, or whatever. stbx and I are baby boomers... can life just be so dispensible?... god this is like asking "what is the meaning of life", "what is happiness"? Sorry for rambling, this has just been such a stressful day - not angry, just so stressful, so incredibly pain and hurt.